Written by Tyrone BruinsmaHonorable Mentions: -The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle [Dir. Des McAnuff] -Almost Famous [Dir. Cameron Crowe] -Alvin And The Chipmunks Meet The Wolfman [Dir. Kathi Castillo] -Anatomie [Dir. Stefan Ruzowitzky] -The Beach [Dir. Danny Boyle] -Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins [Dir. Tad Stones] -Chicken Run [Dir. Peter Lord and Nick Park] -Chopper [Dir. Andrew Dominik] -Crocodile [Dir. Tobe Hooper] -The Circle [Dir. Jafar Panahi] -The Gift [Dir. Sam Raimi] -Dancer in the Dark [Dir. Lars Von Trier] -Dinner Rush [Dir. Bob Giraldi] -Dinosaur [Dir. Ralph Zondag and Eric Leighton] -The Emperor’s New Groove [Dir. Mark Dindal] -Erin Brockovich [Dir. Steven Soderbergh] -An Extremely Goofy Movie [Dir. Douglas McCarthy] -Godzilla vs. Megaguirus [Dir. Masaaki Tezuka] -In the Mood for Love [Dir. Wong Kar-wai] -Little Otik [Dir. Jan Švankmajer] -Malena [Dir. Giuseppe Tornatore] -Miss Congeniality [Dir. Donald Petrie] -Nurse Betty [Dir. Neil LaBute] -O Brother, Where Art Thou? [Dir. Coen Brothers] -Proof of Life [Dir. Taylor Hackford] -The Road to El Dorado [Dir. Eric "Bibo" Bergeron and Don Paul] -The Sixth Day [Dir. Roger Spottiswoode] -Space Cowboys [Dir. Clint Eastwood] -Thirteen Days [Dir. Roger Donaldson] -Titan A.E. [Dir. Don Bluth and Gary Goldman] -Traffic [Dir. Steven Soderbergh] -Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust [Dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri] -What Lies Beneath [Dir. Robert Zemeckis] -Wonder Boys [Dir. Curtis Hanson] 20. Komodo [Dir. Michael Lantieri]The solo directorial effort of Jurassic Park special effect creator Michael Lantieri, Komodo is actually a well-made low-budget B-Movie riff on the Jurassic Park formula. The story is actually more emotionally engaging than what this genre usually follows-engaging in an emotionally distraught child, corrupt oil company and more. The practical and CGI effects are genuinely excellent for their time (and even today) with these being terrifying and anatomically accurate beasts. The score by John Debney (composer of Hocus Pocus, Bruce Almighty, Iron Man 2) is very earnest and the actors do a solid job with a script from the writer of Anaconda and Titan A.E. B-Movie fans should check this out. 19. Hollow Man [Dir. Paul Verhoeven]The idea that Showgirls killed Paul Verhoeven's career is kind of laughable to me as after that film he still made great works like Starship Troopers, Black Book, Elle, Benedetta and this CGI fueled horror adaptation of The Invisible man. A big budget, R-rated Hollywood horror blockbuster in its day-Hollow Man is sadly often forgotten today. But it still stands as a great piece of technical, visceral and horror filmmaking that's not afraid to be dark and brutal. Sure, the effects may not be the best by today's standards, but it's still an impressive spectacle with a great cast. Seriously, give this a rewatch. 18. The Patriot (Extended Edition) [Dir. Roland Emmerich]While I've gone back and forth on this film in regard to historical accuracy, there's no denying Roland Emmerich knows how to use historical films like this and Anonymous to comment on history and modern concept. The Patriot has a pure cinematic scope, good action scenes, an excellent cast, amazing score and works as historical fiction wanting to express some bold ideas. It is in no way an accurate telling of the American revlution, but I think is still worth watching. 17. Cast Away [Dir. Robert Zemeckis]Cast Away remains one of Zemeckis' most beloved films alongside Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Forrest Gump for a reason. The iconic premise, an astonishing lead in Tom Hanks and the confident filmmaking to show us this story makes it amazing. It's not a narratively or thematically deep film, nor filled with some secret weapon (except maybe Wilson); but it's incredibly memorable and engaging as a pure character observation. A deserved modern classic for a reason and the fact he made What Lies Beneath in the middle of Cast Away is a testament to skill. 16. The Boondock Saints [Dir. Troy Duffy]While its director is a problem himself and the production nightmare is bizarre, I still think The Boondock Saints still holds up as a quirky intimate action film. Its cast completely sells this plot, the action scenes and humor are immensely fun and Willem Dafoe's amazing performance remains iconic. While this has been deemed to have aged poorly with its director's lacking career (and as a Quinten Tarantino/Guy Ritchie rip-off), that largely comes from hardcore fans who grew up as teenagers with it. As someone who discovered it as an adult, I think it's a fun little action crime story. 15. Final Destination [Dir. James Wong]The first time I watch Final Destination, I hated it. But upon re-examining, I actually appreciated it more as a Hitchcockian Twilight Zone episode. James Wong and Glen Morgan crafted a truly eerie story, with a supernatural vibe throughout. The largely young cast does well, the use of cinematography has this pre-Panic Room vibe of showing us the tragedy before it happens. The kills are memorable, and while that would be what everyone remembers from this series-the emotional weight in this film is the best use. I can take or leave the rest of the franchise, though I do like the 5th film's kills and ending. 14. The Perfect Storm [Dir. Wolfgang Petersen]After directing the action masterwork Air Force One, the late Wolfgang Petersen set his sights on using the latest in CGI technology to tell this real-life disaster story in both an epic scope and intimately human scale. Similar to Cast Away, we know the story by just the marketing-but it's the execution by all talented parties that keeps us engaged. The visuals were genuinely revolutionary, the direction was great, its Hollywood cast gives great performances and the score is iconic. It's a great disaster film. 13. The Cell [Dir. Tarsem Singh]Easily the most insane visual creation of 2000, The Cell is the directorial debut of the madman genius Tarsem Singh. The Cell is mostly a mix between The Matrix and Silence of the Lambs, but with the visuals of your dreams, nightmares, fantasies and horrifying memories brought to life thanks to incredibly cinematography, production design, effects and location shooting. The cast is game for this experience and while the story is cliche-the visual engagement is what you're here for. 12. The Way of the Gun [Dir. Christopher McQuarrie]After scripting The Usual Suspects and before handling the Mission Impossible franchise, Christopher McQuarrie made his directorial debut with this crime thriller. The Way of the Gun is pretty much the pinnacle of a western updated into a lean, well crafter crime story with great action. The cast is great, the writing is clean and the direction is genuinely excellent. If you've never seen this but have enjoyed McQuarrie's work on the last 3 Mission Impossible films-check this out. 11. The Crimson Rivers [Dir. Mathieu Kassovitz]After directing the acclaimed indie French drama La Haine and before directing disappointing (if ambitious) Hollywood films Gothika and Babylon A.D. - Mathieu Kassovitz directed this French psychological thriller that's actually really surprising. Despite the murder mystery set up you've seen 1000 times, Kassovitz directs and edits the film with an energy and style that even left actor Vincent Cassel disorientated. It's slick, stylish, respects your intelligence to not linger on scenes more than they need to and delivers engaging thrills. The ultimate plot is quite interesting and reminds me of another European thriller from 2000 called Anatomie. The actors do a great job, it doesn't waste your time and delivers what it needs to. 10. Requiem for a Dream [Dir. Darren Aronofsky]After making his eye-catching debut in Pi (and around the time he was pitching his Batman movie) Darren Aronofsky released his iconic psychological drama that scarred audiences. Requiem for a Dream is horrifying, heart wrenching, soul destroying and a masterclass of a film. Shot and edited to perfection, performed with conviction and executed with the themes of the story intact-there still is nothing like this. It's a dark film, but a bright reminder for the power of cinema. 9. Snatch [Dir. Guy Ritchie]After his breakout hit, Guy Ritchie got a big budget and a cast to match to fully define the film he'd be best known for. With one of the best casts of its time in an ensemble crime story, Ritchie and company paint a hilarious yet dark world about fights, dogs and diamonds. The cast is electric with his amazing script and his energetic direction is still amazing. Politically incorrect, crafted with skill and setting a precedent for his career-Snatch is still awesome. 8. Pitch Black [Dir. David Twohy]Before Vin Diesel starred in The Fast and the Furious, he brought his unique talents to this sci-fi horror film from the writer behind The Fugitive. While Pitch Black feels very much like an Alien style film you'd get in the 80s, it's benefited by smart writing, appropriate world building, unique monsters and the character of Riddick himself. While the series would grow (enjoyably so for me), the original film remains the high point due to its great execution of a simple story. 7. Unbreakable [Dir. M. Night Shyamalan]This is M. Night Shyamalan's masterpiece. While The Sixth Sense is his biggest success-I think Unbreakable has the right balance of character, suspense, directorial flair, themes, world building and a surprise twist. Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson have never been better, the mood and atmosphere of the film is pure, the filmmaking is brilliant and the overall narrative in tandem with the theme/cultural context is perfect. It genuinely is one of the best superhero film of the 2000s. 6. American Psycho [Dir. Mary Harron]This darkly satirical psychological horror film is just brilliant. Christian Bale gives an amazing performance as image obsessed Patrick Bateman on a psychotic spree, perfectly satirizing the corporate world it examines. Bale's performance and the film's overall execution of being a satire is wonderful. And the fact many corporate types genuinely admire the character on display is a similar effect to how men enlist as Marines after watching Full Metal Jacket-not everyone's smart enough to get art. The violence is striking, the direction is perfect, but it really is the themes tied to its magnetic lead character that iconify this film. 5. Gladiator [Dir. Ridley Scott]Ridley Scott revived the historical epic and sword-and-sandal genre with this awesome film. Gladiator is exciting, dramatic, performed with a flair, executed flawlessly and while it's a bit cliche-it's the perfect elevated blockbuster experience. Russell Crowe as Maximus is iconic, while Joaquin Phoenix is a delightful villain among the great cast. The practical and CGI effects help sell the action, colosseum and Rome itself. It remains both one of the best films of the 21st century and greatest films to win the Oscar for Best Picture. 4. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon [Dir. Ang Lee]After proving his dramatic skills, Ang Lee decided to bring wuxia action cinema to the West with Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Paving the way for Zhang Yimou films like Hero, House of Flying Daggers and Curse of the Golden Flower; this movie is a beautiful drama and character piece with some amazing action scenes flowing through. It's both one of the most important films of its time, and one of the best made period with actors like Chao Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh giving it their all. A masterpiece to this day. 3. Battle Royale [Dir. Kinji Fukasaku]Easily my personal favorite film of the year, Battle Royale is an ultra-violent Japanese exploitation film with a voice. While many are more familiar with the genre via games like Fortnite and PUBG, or the lackluster blockbuster franchise The Hunger Games: Battle Royale remains the best version. Creating a premise that at first caters to older Japanese citizens tired of misbehaving youth crisis of the time, it quickly shows the nightmarish consequences of such in darkly comedic violence. It's executed flawlessly, narratively complex and viscerally exciting. The characters are extremely memorable, with Takeshi Kitano the most iconic. While its sequel is lacking, this movie does more in its run time than The Hunger Games did over 4 films. 2. Memento [Dir. Christopher Nolan]The film that brought Christopher Nolan the full attention of Hollywood, Memento is one of the best neo noir stories every told. The story of a man while can't create new memories and lies through notes he makes trying to find the man who killed his wife, played in reverse order? That's nuts. The fact it's executed so well and perfectly, even more nuts. Guy Pearce does great as the lead, Carrie-Anne Moss marvelous as a potential femme fatale and Joe Pantoliano gives one of his best performances. The narrative and filmmaking execution by Nolan was a sign of what was to come in other masterpieces like Inception or Tenet. Memento still remains his greatest magic trick of cinema and it is a must watch. 1. Audition [Dir. Takeshi Miike]Audition is one of the best films you'll ever see despite it being one of the nastiest ever conceived. Audition starts off like an off-beat drama before quickly devolving into a pure unmitigated nightmare. What starts off as the story of a widowed man using a casting call in an attempt to find love soon turns into something like Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo by way of Italian giallo horror, American body horror and Japanese sadomasochist porn. Audition is one of my favorite films of all time, a reminder that you can genuinely artistic and meaningful films out of disturbing content; reminding us why the likes of Human Centipede are garbage. Can I guarantee you'll enjoy or stomach Audition? No. Will you forget it if you watch it? Not a chance. Audition truly is the best piece of cinema of 2000; no one will be able to change my mind on that.
0 Comments
Written by Tyrone BruinsmaDishonorable Mentions: -Bless the Child [Dir. Chuck Russell] -Coyote Ugly [Dir. David McNally] -Digimon: The Movie [Dir. Mamoru Hosoda and Shigeyasu Yamauchi] -Escape from Hell [Dir. Danny Carrales] -Firetrap [Dir. Harris Done] -The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas [Dir. Brian Levant] -Get Carter [Dir. Stephen Kay] -How the Grinch Stole Christmas [Dir. Ron Howard] -Left Behind: The Movie [Dir. Vic Sarin] -Little Nicky [Dir. Steven Brill] -Lost Souls [Dir. Janusz Kamiński] -Mission to Mars [Dir. Brian De Palma] -The President's Man [Dir. Michael Preece] -Ready to Rumble [Dir. Brian Robbins] -Reindeer Games [Dir. John Frankenheimer] -Rules of Engagement [Dir. William Friedkin] -Scream 3 [Dir. Wes Craven] -Sinbad: Beyond the Veil of Mists [Dir. Alan Jacobs and Evan Ricks] -Thomas and the Magic Railroad [Dir. Britt Allcroft] -Urban Legends: Final Cut [Dir. John Ottman] -The Watcher [Dir. Joe Charbanic] -X-Men [Dir. Bryan Singer] 10. Mission: Impossible 2 [Dir. John Woo]While Mission Impossible 2 set the franchise on its fun ride in sequels and was the highest grossing film of 2000, it's also the weakest of the franchise. The film has a game cast and mostly borrows from Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious, but the film lacks the suspense of the original 1996 film or adrenaline-fueled spectacle of later sequels. With apologies to director John Woo, after a hot streak in America with Hard Target, Broken Arrow and Face/Off-his films became lacking between this, Windtalkers and Paycheck. It's not super memorable, largely feels repetitive and at best, is a mildly entertaining dumb popcorn film. 9. Hellraiser: Inferno [Dir. Scott Derrickson]Before he made works like Sinister, Doctor Strange and The Black Phone; Scott Derrickson made a name for himself with admirable efforts like this and Urban Legend: Final Cut. While Inferno tries to tell a relatively ambitious and emotional story, it doesn’t feel like Hellraiser. The last film attempted something very ambitious, but felt true to the series. This film feels like a generic crime/horror/psychological thriller with a Pinhead cameo at the end. I give credit to the effort put in, but this did set the precedent for future Hellraiser films to be unrelated nonsense with Pinhead thrown in at the end. 8. Red Planet [Dir. Antony Hoffman]We had two Mars centric films in 2000 and Red Planet was so bad its director never made a film again. What confuses me about this film is that it doesn’t know what it truly wants to be. It’s not a meditative sci-fi odyssey, not a survival film, not an alien horror film or Terminator-esque robot slasher: it’s all of those and yet none of them. The film is often boring, leaving the actors to just strut around in a film that looks good until the CGI comes out. In the end, you could watch tons of better films than this if you need your Martian movie fix. Ghosts of Mars, Doom, The Martian, The Last Days on Mars, Terra Formars and the list goes on. Even Brian De Palma’s Mission to Mars that same year was better. 7. Supernova [Dir. Walter Hill]Ok, buckle up for this production nightmare. In 1990, William Malone (Director of 1985’s Creature/Titan Find) pitched a low budget sci-fi horror version of Dead Calm with H.R Giger attached. However by 1997, MGM ended up picking up the project and Geoffry Wright (Director of Romper Stomper) was chosen to direct. 2 months before production was about to begin however, Wright dropped out due to creative disagreements at the studio level and actor Vincent D’Onofrio followed suit. Jack Sholder (Director of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2) was initially chosen as a replacement, but the studio and cast pushed for the film’s producer Walter Hill to direct. Hill was an experienced producer, handling all 3 Alien films at that point and directing films like The Warriors and Streets of Fire. Filming under Hill began in April 1998 for 3 months and followed with 24 weeks of Hill developing his director’s cut. Unfortunately, MGM pushed for a test screening while Hill asked to finish effects work and shoot additional footage. MGM refused and test screened the film regardless. The film was poorly received in the test screenings and subsequent arguments caused Hill to quit the project. MGM brought director Jack Sholder to re-edit the film and reshoot additional footage. He changed the tone of the film, some character elements and even had a new music score made. While this version test screened better with audiences, new executives saw these low test scores and were unhappy. MGM approached Walter Hill about his desire to improve the film and when he offered to do reshoots for $5 Million, MGM declined. This resulted in Hill completely abandoning the project and MGM shelving the film. In mid-1999, Franics Ford Coppola (who was an MGM board member at the time) was brought in to create a new edit for $1 Million. Most of that revolved around digital face replacements for a sex scene. Unfortunately, Coppola’s cut was also negatively received by test screenings and failed to receive the PG-13 rating MGM wanted. At that rate, MGM threw up its hands and sold the film off: with its eventual production costs being $90 Million and releasing in the year 2000 with the director pseudonym Thomas Lee used. And after all that, the film didn’t even make $15 Million worldwide and was promptly disregarded. Supernova is a badly made film, with a generic and messy story, cliche characters and delivers little in the way of spectacle or scares. It technically fulfils the concept of "Dead Calm in Space", but poorly. The film ends up being a worse version of a movie that was released a year before it went into production: Event Horizon. While that film was a box office disappointment and not critically loved at the time: Event Horizon has gone on to be a culturally beloved horror film in recent years. Not Supernova though, it’s bad. If it had just been made as the low budget sci-fi film as envisioned, it probably would be a classic today. 6. Help! I'm a Fish [Dir. Stefan Fjeldmark, Greg Manwaring, Michael Hegner]This movie probably exists somewhere in the hidden depths of your memory if you were a child in the 2000s. It's a strange film from premise to execution, but not strange or good enough to be a good film. It certainly has its moments like Alan Rickman's vocal performance as the villain, that banger of a song "Little Yellow Fish" by Danish group Little Trees, and there's some fun moments throughout. Unfortunately, the film has really shoddy pacing and lacks character motivations. It often moves way too fast to process anything; eliminating any potential character development, thematic interest or chance to explore the potentially interesting world. It's also weirdly dark without much motivation and even has a darkly cruel joke towards the end. It's not some inappropriate kids film, or weird acid trip, it's just an undercooked product that likely will not escape your mind if it ever entered. 5. Python [Dir. Richard Clabaugh]I don’t ask much from a giant killer snake B-Movie, but not meeting that low bar is just infuriating. I give praise to having a fairly human interaction between a lesbian couple at the beginning and most the cast is trying-but I got nothing else. The CGI is bad, the story proceeds far too slowly and the snake’s size is inconsistent. Seriously, how does a giant snake the size of a bus hide behind some 1-foot-tall cardboard boxes? It's not fun, scary, well-made or baseline entertaining. I like trashy B-movies, but not when they’re actual trash. 4. Dungeons and Dragons [Dir. Courtney Solomon]The infamously bad Dungeons and Dragons film with terrible CGI, Marlon Wayans thinking he’s still in Scary Movie and Jeremy Irons overacting the hardest he ever has. It’s bad, and I don’t even play DnD to know it’s bad. The story is cliche and nonsensically overwritten, the performances are all over the place and bad, there’s no real sense of adventure and it’s just not good. The only praise I can give is the ambitious scope and the score. Otherwise, it’s a bad film that’s truly awful despite the potential material. The fact its cheap sequel years later managed to be somewhat better is an embarrassment. 3. Titanic: The Legend Goes On [Dir. Camillo Teti]I don't know why 2000 had so many bad kid's films between the Digimon movie, the live action Flintstones prequel, Jim Carrey's Grinch film, the lacking Little Mermaid 2 and the Thomas the Tank Engine film, but this was the worst of the bunch. A poorly made Italian production that was also poorly adapted into English, everything about this is broken. The animation is so poorly done as it tries to balance rubber hose comedy and realistic Don Bluth style character animation. It doesn't help that the editing is struggling to stretch it to feature length by repeating shots and messing with the frame rate. The film itself is basically James Cameron's Titanic, but with about 20 characters stolen from better animated films in a cluster of errors. The film only works as an unintentional comedy with friends thanks to scenes like an out of nowhere hip-pop rap music number. It's horrifically unfunny, tonally broken and has no idea what it's doing. You're better off watch either the good Titanic film or JonTron's video on this film here Titanic: The Legend Goes On - JonTron - YouTube 2. Blood Surf [Dir. James D.R. Hickox]Written and produced by Robert L. Levy (Producer of Pay it Forward, Van Wilder and Wedding Crashers), Blood Surf is supposed to be a cheesy and fun killer crocodile film. It’s supposed to be, but isn’t. It’s easily one of the worst killer crocodile films I’ve ever seen alongside Crocodile 2: Death Swamp and Black Water: Abyss. The film is about some pro-surfers going to the Philippines and end up being attacked by a giant crocodile and local pirates. It’s not engaging, scary, well-acted or even directed well. The script is pretty terrible, the pacing and tone are off and it’s just a bad B-movie. Oh, but I have a special anger for this film for one moment. There’s a scene where one of the American surfers has sex with a Filipino girl that’s helping with his surfing trip. But before that, she teases him by saying she’s under 18, before taking it back. Then after watching a softcore porn scene, she admits she’s a minor. Our American “hero” then realizes what he’s done, but quickly recovers by asking if it’s legal in the Philippines. Now, while the actress during that scene was in her 20’s, I feel like the movie having a depiction of statutory rape of a minor and trying to joke about it is in bad taste. Considering the exploitation, fetishization and abuse of young Asian women (along with women of color in general) and this movie’s flagrant indulgence in that: I’m honestly disgusted. Oh, and for the record, the age of consent in the Philippines is 18. Seriously Robert, why did you write this? What did you add this detail into the story? It doesn't do anything but make audiences uncomfortable and possibly expose a fetish you have. Oh, and the American gets off scott-free because she’s soon after eaten by the awful looking crocodile puppet before anyone finds out. This is a bad killer crocodile film and the terrible monster isn't what I’m the angriest about. 1. Battlefield Earth [Dir. Roger Christian]What else was gonna be in this spot? Battlefield Earth is an infamously awful film that’s either “So Bad It’s Good” or just sucks. While there are some bizarre moments many find unintentionally hilarious, I just find it perpetually confusing and annoying. Most of the performances are overacted to the point of absurdity, the strange mix of Dutch angels and Star Wars wipe edits create an unfit visual style, and the story is silly at best. All the numerous plot holes aside, it doesn’t even function as an epic sci-fi adventure.
But then again that’s largely due to production company Franchise Pictures behaving with fraudulent behavior. While Battlefield Earth was listed with a budget of about $75 Million, the eventual budget turned out to be only $44 Million. This was discovered when a German company agreed to cover almost 50% of the believed budget and found out they’d actually funded most of it. Franchise Pictures went to court, lost and went bankrupt. So, if you’ve ever wondered why this film looked so cheap, it’s because instead of having a budget akin to co-current blockbusters like X-Men or Unbreakable, it had less than half the budget of films like What Lies Beneath, Hollow Man, Gladiator and The Perfect Storm. And of course, there’s the unavoidable issues of Scientology in adapting L. Ron Hubbard’s work and his controversial church. While the film itself doesn’t promote much in the way of the writer’s faith and many actors of the church don’t act with the hostility of the organization, it’s still a problem. I and many others have a severe objection to the policies and behavior of the church, beyond simply what they believe. I’ve immense respect for John Travolta and I can tell this film was a passion project for him. But trying to promote a church which has numerous allegations, documented criminal charges, attempts to remove information or criticism and various legal issues through a big sci-fi blockbuster just doesn’t sit well. There’s obviously an argument over the prevailing influence Scientology has in the media (along with other questionable ideologies), but even if the film wasn't attached to the church…it’d still be a truly terrible film. I guess you could say that Battlefield Earth will remain as one of the worst films of all time, with endless options for renewal. |
Tyrone BruinsmaThis is the Official Blog/Magazine for filmmaker, writer and content producer Tyrone Bruinsma Categories
All
|