Written by Tyrone BruinsmaHonorable Mentions: -Aftersun [Dir. Charlotte Wells] -All Quiet on the Western Front [Dir. Edward Berger] -Ambulance [Dir. Michael Bay] -The Bad Guys [Dir. Pierre Perifel] -Barbarian [Dir. Zach Cregger] -Batman: The Long Halloween (Deluxe Edition) [Dir. Chris Palmer] -Beast [Dir. Baltasar Kormákur] -Birdies [Dir. Troy Carlton] -Black Adam [Dir. Jaume Collet-Serra] -Black Panther: Wakanda Forever [Dir. Ryan Coogler] -The Black Phone [Dir. Scott Derrickson] -The Bob's Burgers Movie [Dir. Loren Bouchard and Bernard Derriman] -Bones and All [Dir. Luca Guadagnino] -Bullet Train [Dir. David Leitch] -Carnifex [Dir. Sean Lahiff] -Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers [Dir. Akiva Schaffer] -Crimes of the Future [Dir. David Cronenberg] -Death on the Nile [Dir. Kenneth Branagh] -Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness [Dir. Sam Raimi] -Empire of Light [Dir. Sam Mendes] -The Fabelmans [Dir. Steven Spielberg] -The Gray Man [Dir. Russo Brothers] -Hellraiser [Dir. David Bruckner] -Holy Spider [Dir. Ali Abbasi] -Incantation [Dir. Kevin Ko] -Jurassic World: Dominion (Extended Edition) [Dir. Colin Trevorrow] -The Lair [Dir. Neil Marshall] -Lightyear [Dir. Angus MacLane] -Line Goes Up - The Problem with NFTs [Dir. Dan Olsen] -Men [Dir. Alex Garland] -The Menu [Dir. Mark Mylod] -Moonfall [Dir. Roland Emmerich] -My Old School [Dir. Jono McLeod] -No Exit [Dir. Damien Power] -Operation Mincemeat [Dir. John Madden] -Pearl [Dir. Ti West] -Pinocchio [Dir. Guillermo del Toro] -Shark Bait [Dir. James Nunn] -The Siege of Robin Hood [Dir. Paul Allica] -Smile [Dir. Parker Finn] -Smoking Causes Coughing [Dir. Quinten Dupieux] -Sonic the Hedgehog 2 [Dir. Jeff Fowler] -Speak No Evil [Dir. Christian Tafdrup] -Strange World [Dir. Don Hall] -Suzme [Dir. Makoto Shinkai] -Terrifier 2 [Dir. Damien Leone] -Thor: Love and Thunder [Dir. Taika Waititi] -Top Gun: Maverick [Dir. Joseph Kosinski] -The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent [Dir. Tom Gormican] -V/H/S/99 [Dir. Maggie Levin, Johannes Roberts, Flying Lotus, Tyler MacIntyre, Vanessa & Joseph Winter] -Violent Night [Dir. Tommy Wirkola] -Winter Boy [Dir. Christophe Honoré] -The Witch: Part 2 - The Other One [Dir. Park Hoon-jung] -The Woman King [Dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood] -Turning Red [Dir. Domee Shi] -Women Talking [Dir. Sarah Polley] -X [Dir. Ti West] 20. The Whale [Dir. Darren Aronofsky]Brendan Fraser's triumphant return to cinema after several difficult years, The Whale is a brilliant acting showcase for him and all the players in the adaptation of the decade old stage play. While largely a one room film, it feels closest to an arthouse equivalent of Todd Phillips' Joker in that it's a rather familiar story wrapped around a powerhouse performance. The writing is blunt but effective, the simple and subtle choices in direction work and the overall effect emotionally moved me. I will say there's a discussion to be made whether the film's use of a fat suit and obesity as metaphor for addiction/self-destruction is in bad taste. I recommend reading Lindy West's article about the film if you need some critical thoughts from a body positivity feminist (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2023/mar/10/lindy-west-on-the-whale). It's not my place to say if the film is gross, dehumanizing or offensive. I've seen many films utilize fat suits or obesity as exploitation/horror (Feed and Taxidermia) and while I can find the artistic intent/merit in works like those-I also understand the offensiveness it carries to many. 19. Triangle of Sadness [Dir. Ruben Östlund]2022 was the year a lot of movies wanted to be middle fingers to the elites and classism (Glass Onion, The Menu etc) and Triangle of Sadness was easily one of the funniest of those. What is seemingly the story of rich assholes on a fancy yacht is actually just a study in the failure of elitism. It's downright hilarious with subtle humor, a gross out set piece and a transition into Act 3 that made me belly laugh. Act 3 truly cements the film's themes and is a showcase for much of the best work by the cast. Absolutely recommend this. 18. Shin Ultraman [Dir. Shinji Higuchi and Ikki Todoroki]While I never grew up with Ultraman, this new take by the filmmakers behind Shin Godzilla clearly shows love and reverence for the original series in terms of production style, musical score and execution of an episodic style. The kaiju fight scenes are incredibly well done, with plenty of inventive and awesome beatdowns. The characters are engaging and funny, with the film never being dull. While many have noted the supposed lack of themes-the film very nicely explores an anti-nihilistic belief that despite humanities flaws-we deserve to live. And if you want something similar but more ridiculous from the same year-I recommend Smoking Causes Coughing. 17. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish [Dir. Joel Crawford]The first Puss in Boots film was a solid animated adventure, whilst its long-awaited sequel is a near masterpiece. Often described as a kid friendly animated equivalent of 2017's Logan, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is both a fun adventure for the kids; but also, a story about confronting mortality. A film that delivers amazing action and comedy, has a stacked voice cast giving it their all and delivers genuine heartfelt moments-this film is amazing in all the best ways Dreamworks can deliver. 16. Mad God [Dir. Phil Tippett]From Phil Tippett, the man who gave us practical effects for Star Wars and Jurassic Park returns to stop-motion puppetry with this nightmarish masterpiece. Mad God is an auteur film where its creator is a Mad God able to construct anything and everything they imagine. On the other hand, it's also a politically and artistically charged horror landscape about a world controlled by a Mad God. The visuals, sound, tone and effects are all amazing considering this is the year Guillermo Del Toro also gave us his long in development Pinnochio passion project. The story is intentionally vague and obtuse, but it's one that allows you to dig into the film as much as you want. It's not for everyone (especially not those with a weak stomach) but is absolutely worth seeking. 15. Prey [Dir. Dan Trachtenberg]It only took 35 years, but someone finally made a sequel to Predator that's the closest to being compared to the original. This film set in pioneer's America among Comanche warriors fighting a Predator is one of the best premises ever made. 10 Cloverfield Lane director Dan Trachtenberg handles the film in a simple, but elegant way that allows for action, tension, cultural commentary and a great lead performance by Amber Midthunder. This movie kicks serious ass and I hope more films like it come out for this franchise and the Alien series under Disney's watch. Only wish it had gotten a theatrical release and just cleaned up at the box office. 14. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery [Dir. Rian Johnson]After the original smash hit Knives Out, Rian Johnson brought his playfully subversive mystery into the Covid-19 era with another win. The Agathe Christie set up returns with terrible people on an island that quickly turns to murder, all with a playful attitude. Johnson's writing is smart, funny, has the perfect cast to realize it that and is a perfect zeitgeist commentary. Daniel Craig is as brilliant as ever, while Janelle Monáe is the hidden gem of this star studded cast. It's clever, surprising, gorgeous looking and joins the "films that give a middle finger to the elite class" of 2022 alongside Triangle of Sadness and The Menu, and is easily the best. 13. Project Wolf Hunting [Dir. Kim Hong-seon]South Korean cinema (South Korean media in general) continues to be some of the best in the world. After the likes of Parasite, The Wailing, The Handmaiden, Train to Busan, I Saw the Devil, Oldboy, The Host etc-the country can still pump out films that surprise and amaze. Project Wolf Hunting is basically the South Korean equivalent of 2018's Overlord: a subversive genre film that's ultra gory, incredibly well made and is so much fun. It's the kind of thing genre films like myself are going to love, so if you're a fan of horror, action, gore and films fully committed to controlled madness-seek this out, it's AWESOME! 12. Banshees of Inisherin [Dir. Martin McDonagh]The Banshees of Inisherin might not be a feel-good comedy or massively eventful film, but it's easily one of the best movies of the year. Starting from two friends no longer being together, the story spirals into tragedy, dark jokes, and a meditation on human wants and needs. While the sharp dialogue is similar to his prior classic In Bruges, Martin McDonagh borrows film his brother John's 2014 film Calvary in terms of setting and tone for a purgatorial feel. Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Kerry Condon and Barry Keoghan are all amazing performers here-giving weight to a tragicomedy that might best be scripted as a ghost story without a ghost. 11. Three Thousand Years of Longing [Dir. George Miller]Easily the most ambitious film from 2022 that isn't protected by an IP, George Miller's first vision after Mad Max: Fury Road is this gonzo trip. The story of a literary scholar who releases a Djinn and here's his stories is a great premise that the film largely utilizes to the best possible version. The direction, visuals, cinematography and imagery are spectacular - supporting a narrative itself that is about breaking down the paradoxes of life and storytelling itself. Tilda Swinton and Idris Elba have an amazing chemistry as the leads in this mostly anthological film, both giving wonderful performances. Is it a bit unbalanced and something you'd have to watch multiple times to fully get? Yes, but the best films are. 10. Godland [Dir. Hlynur Pálmason]This is easily one of the most beautiful films you will ever see from 2022, with most of the film just being real. This Danish/Icelandic co-production about a late 19th century priest from Denmark venturing to build a church in Iceland is easily one of the most engrossing dramatic odysseys in some time. It's a film that feels inspired as much from religious stories like The Book of Job and The Tower of Babel, as well as other great character odysseys like Aguirre The Wrath of God and There Will Be Blood-delivering its own emotional experience. The performances are amazing, the visuals and cinematography are gorgeous, and there's a lot you can read into this film regarding faith, nature, mortality and it would all work. Absolutely recommend. 9. Nope [Dir. Jordan Peele]After making Get Out and Us, I wasn't sure what culturally relevant madness Jordan Peele would turn into pure horror-but Nope is another big winner. A commentary on the exploitation of people of color, animals, people's paranoia and suffering for entertainment-the film is basically an interesting riff on War of the Worlds and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The entire cast is clearly game for the material, with the eventual reveal of what's happening being one of the wildest things put into a film in 2022 that wasn't in Thor: Love and Thunder, Babylon, Three Thousand Years of Longing or Everything Everywhere All At Once. The performances all worked, Peele's use of visuals and sound in directing are great and it's the closest he's come to pure spectacle. Seriously, if you've avoided spoilers-give this a watch and just go with it. Also, Logan Paul hates this movie because he's a grifting exploitative idiot so that just means the movie proves its point. 8. The Northman [Dir. Robert Eggers]Following up his horror masterpieces The Witch and The Lighthouse, Robert Eggers has moved to making an auteur blockbuster arthouse in the form of The Northman. A Viking epic based on the story that inspired Hamlet, the film has Alexander Skarsgard play a berserker warrior out for revenge on the uncle who killed his father. It's basically a macho arthouse film with symbolism, gorgeous long takes, poetic dialogue and ultra-violence alongside The Revenant and 300. It's such a well-made, artistically rich yet simple to grasp film. It's the kind of work film buffs, action nuts and normal audiences should enjoy. While successful on streaming-the lacking box office and Eggers possibly not having control over the edit means his next project will probably be his planned remake of Nosferatu. 7. Babylon [Dir. Damien Chazelle]The marketing and premise for Damien Chazelle's latest film made me think this was a poorly done passionate project with no story and just made as Oscar bait. But upon watching this 3-hour epic, it becomes clear what this was. Babylon is basically "A Star is Born" by way of "The Wolf of Wall Street", a bloated piece of excess cinema showing the debauched Hollywood of the 1920's in all its glory and grotesquery. Its cast is clearly in sync with Chazelle's vision, it's historically authentic, the score and cinematography are amazing and its actually thematically richer than you might believe. Is it an overstuffed, auteur work with no restraint? Yeah, but I kind of love those (Zack Snyder's Justice League, Kingdom of Heaven Director's Cut etc). As a lover of film, this made me exceedingly happy. 6. RRR [Dir. S. S. Rajamouli]The Indian films that took 2022 be storm - RRR is a powerhouse of visuals, emotions, action and music. Providing a truly intense story about revenge, duty, love, honor and colonialism - it's back up by amazing performances, direction, editing, visual effects, music and passion that only Indian filmmakers can provide. It's a worldwide phenomenon that has opened up the opportunity for films like Pathaan to be global hits too with major audience. Rejoice in global cinema. 5. Tar [Dir. Todd Field]2022's tightwire act of drama, storytelling, performance and societal reflection: Todd Field and Cate Blanchette pulled off a minor masterpiece with Tar. A psychological drama about a tough lesbian conductor going through the sins of her past, it's a film that one can only experience and not be described to. Cate Blanchett gives one of her best performances (to the point I thought she would be guaranteed the Best Actress Oscar), and while I don't want to diminish the acting of the supporting cast-this really is Blanchett's show. It's executed in such a unique way despite the familiar plot points, occasionally leaning into almost being an art-house horror film. It really is an experience built for the screen and handles its dicey subject matter with maturity and honesty as opposed to some edgelord political screed. 4. Decision to Leave [Dir. Park Chan-wook]Director Park Chan-wook's track record includes Oldboy, Stoker and The Handmaiden - so you know he can direct the hell out of character focused mystery. What starts out as a seemingly normal murder mystery of an abusive husband, quickly turns into a nuanced and flawlessly executed character study with an incredible amount of detail. Park finds new ways of visualizing the detective genre and character interactions through phenomenal framing, editing and mise en scene that surpass many of the best mystery films. It's got an incredible screenplay, perfect cinematic construction and actress Tang Wei reminds us all what a powerhouse she is opposite a wonderful cast. 3. Avatar: The Way of Water [Dir. James Cameron]So, 13 years later and we finally got to see James Cameron's sequel to Avatar...and it's really good. In fact it's probably better than the original. Surprise surprise, one of the best visual effects leading blockbuster directors once again made a visually gorgeous, technically amazing, well told and thrilling action movie. The characters are more fleshed out than the original, the world is just as (if not more) immersive as the original, the visuals and direction are really spectacular, and the action is nigh flawless. It might be 3 hours long but feels like 2 and has lots of things to do in that runtime. Is it basically another pro-environmentalist movie? Yeah, but what's wrong with that? James Cameron might be an egotistical blowhard...but he's damn good at his job. 2. Everything Everywhere All at Once [Dir. Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert]The most inventive, emotionally deep, narratively satisfying and joyously hilarious film of the year is of course Everything Everywhere All at Once. Basically a superior version of Multiverse of Madness, this film is basically a love letter to classic kung fu action films, modern sci-fi multiverse storytelling and masterfully executed piece of existential enlightenment. It's a film that's funny, weird, action packed, emotionally engaging and well performed by the entire cast. I'm glad this became A24's most successful film ever-because it's really that good. If there's only one film you see from 2022-make it this one. 1. The Batman [Dir. Matt Reeves]The Batman is film that feels like it was tailor made for me. A dark, epic deconstructionist reaffirmation of the iconic masked crusader with one of the best casts and creative teams in recent memory. Matt Reeves perfectly adapts the character to commentate on his modern presence in this modern decaying world. Robert Pattinson is probably the best acted Batman we've ever had, with the entire supporting cast behind him doing amazing work. Its use of ultra-dark lighting and monochromatic color makes it feel like a true noir, the score by Michael Giacchino is amazing, and the visual effects used for the action scenes and stunts are perfect. I didn't mind the mystery, runtime or overtly political nature-because while Ben Affleck is still my favorite live action Batman...THIS is the best Batman film ever made and my favorite film of 2022.
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Written by Tyrone BruinsmaDishonorable Mentions: -Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle [Dir. James Nguyen] -Blonde [Dir. Andrew Dominik] -The Bubble [Dir. Judd Apatow] -Croc! [Dir. Paul W. Franklin] -Disenchanted [Dir. Adam Shankman] -Don’t Worry Darling [Dir. Olivia Wilde] -Fear Pharm [Dir. Dante Yore] -Grimcutty [Dir. John Ross] -The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild [Dir. John C. Donkin] -Luck [Dir. Peggy Holmes] -Maneater [Dir. Daniel Monzón] -A Man Called Otto [Dir. Marc Forster] -The Man from Toronto [Dir. Patrick Hughes] -Marmaduke [Dir. Mark A.Z. Dippé] -My Son Hunter [Dir. Robert Davi] -Operation Seawolf [Dir. Steven Luke] -Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank [Dir. Rob Minkoff, Mark Koetsier and Chris Bailey] -Pinocchio: A True Story [Dir. Vasiliy Rovenskiy] -Scream [Dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett] -Shut In [Dir. D.J. Caruso] -They Crawl Beneath [Dir. Dale Fabrigar] -The 355 [Dir. Simon Kinberg] -Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody [Dir. Kasi Lemmons] 10. Morbius [Dir. Daniel Espinosa] The memes around Morbius superseded the film as a whole. Who would’ve thought you could use internet memes to trick a studio into re-releasing a film and making them lose money (unless you also saw the result of the Snyder Cut). Morbius is a film where you can clearly see it’s been hacked to pieces in the 2 years it was delayed to take a probably confusing and slow film into something moderately releasable. While I like the vampire action and Pokémon styled visualization of those powers: everything else sucks. Jared Leto is the weakest part of the film (on top of his unprofessional behavior) and Matt Smith is clearly relishing his role in the film. It’s pretty much a worse version of 2016’s Suicide Squad in that it’s mostly a sloppy and messy version of film that was already gonna be a flavor of bad. I like Daniel Espinosa’s directing and style, but it’s just not that good-while not being as bad as others have said. I know Kraven the Hunter, Madam Web and Venom 3 are on the table-but I’m so confused as to what Sony is doing with this Spider-Man villain universe. 9. Texas Chainsaw Massacre [Dir. David Blue Garcia]Despite being the longest running slasher franchise, Texas Chainsaw Massacre only has 3 good films in the original, the gonzo sequel from 1986 and the 2003 remake. This new film that acts as a sequel to only the first film is a disaster. It’s desperately and nakedly copying the Blumhouse Halloween sequel from 2018, while also turning Leatherface into Jason Vorhees. This franchise is very different from Halloween and Friday the 13th, so trying to make it like those franchises is just not understanding the material. It ditches the subtle politics of the first film and instead bluntly addresses school shootings, “cancel culture” (not a real thing) and political divides in America to an annoying bad taste effect. The direction, visual and gore are fine, but in service to a terrible story and plot. They fail at naked fan service, and I couldn’t tell if the final moments were meant to be shocking, funny or insulting. Considering this largely came from the mind of the guys who gave us Don’t Breathe-you’d expect better. 8. Interceptor [Dir. Matthew Reilly] Matthew Reilly is a very successful and celebrated author, but his attempt at “blockbuster” filmmaking fell flat. Despite his prior novels being ample material for films like Hell Island, Scarecrow or The Great Zoo of China (literally Jurassic Park but Dragons); he settled on an original story. The problem is while the premise for this thriller of terrorists taking over a naval interceptor base to stop nukes is solid, the tone is a complete mess. The film switches between a 90s Die Hard rip-off like Under Siege and a more claustrophobic psychological film like Panic Room. It wants to have this over the top end of the world scenario, but also deal with issues like sexual harassment and sexism in the military. It’s tonally confused and makes me feel like a clearer direction was needed. While the production values, fight choreography and cinematography are individually fine: the direction, writing, performances and editing are sloppy. Nice try Matthew, hope your next project is better. 7. Pinocchio [Dir. Robert Zemeckis]The same year we got Guillermo Del Toro's long awaited stop motion version of Pinocchio (and that other one with Paulie Shore's bad voice acting) Disney released this terrible remake of their classic. Here, we see award winning director Robert Zemeckis and legendary actor Tom Hanks turn in a bland, ugly looking rendition of the 1940s cartoon. It fails in its attempts to expand the story and characters, has a slow moving story and feels completely lifeless. There are multiple questionable moments like clocks made from Disney characters (and Robert Zemeckis' own Who Framed Roger Rabbit characters), Pinocchio smelling horse dung and the finale itself. The songs aren't very good and it only comes to life at a literal rollercoaster ride sequence on Pleasure Island. Otherwise, it's the worst of everyone's work and a bad Disney remake. 6. The Reef: Stalked [Dir. Andrew Traucki]Andrew Traucki’s career path has been disappointing to see. After making solid survival killer animal films in Black Water and The Reef, he then started on a bad track record with the 2013's found footage bore The Jungle. His sequel to Black Water in Black Water: Abyss sucked and now his sequel to The Reef with The Reef: Stalked (an awkward title) is worse. While it has a higher footage quality than the original, that’s the only improvement. It lacks the visceral nature and genuine terror of the original film-trading it in for cliches and boredom. There are no fun kills, no real set pieces and it feels so toothless. It’s also got this tacked-on opening that depicts spousal abuse and incorporates it to unintentional hilarity. Considering Australia is in a wave of men abusing and killing their partners, and this sub-plot has nothing to do with the rest of the film: it comes off as cheap and in poor taste. The cast is fine, with Ann Truong being the strongest performer-but the best thing I can say about the film is that it’s only the 2nd worst killer shark film of 2022. 5. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore [Dir. David Yates]So JK Rowling’s failed attempt at a Harry Potter prequel series didn’t so much burn out in a flaming disaster as it gently rolled off a tiny cliff. The gradual decline in audience reception and box office returns show that people didn’t really want boring adults playing politics that occasionally showed cool monsters. Also, Rowling’s personal image turning from a feminist author icon to the elitist transphobic aunt you hate didn’t help. And despite how much I hated the prior films, this is technically the best of the trilogy because there’s two scenes I enjoyed and the cast of characters are more entertaining. But it’s still a needlessly grim story, stuffed with politics we don’t care about and the final “epic” showdown is a failure of editing and staging. I just didn’t care about this plot revolving around Grindelwald, Newt and some prophecy bloodline child. Rowling’s writing is cliche at best, David Yates hasn’t directed a film above “ok” and most of the cast appear to be sleep walking. I know that original plan was this going to be a 5 part film series and WB was committed to that, but it looks like between the failed box office returns, David Zazlav stripping the company for parts and more focus going to the DC films, while the Harry Potter books get rebooted into a tv show-this prequel series has concluded. Good riddance. 4. Amsterdam [Dir. David O. Russell] And this year’s entry for the immensely well-acted, well produced, but ultra-pretentious and annoying film (aka the David O. Russell or Adam Mckay Award) goes to Amsterdam. This period comedy, drama, crime…thing has one of the best casts you could ask for (hell, Taylor Swift even gives a good performance) and mister Russell has given them one of the most irritating scripts to work with. Highly dependent on explaining things from the past, overly pretentious analogies and trying too hard to be “cute/funny” banter that all goes on way too long. It feels like someone took scripts from M. Night Shyamalan, Wes Anderson and Quinten Tarantino before running it through an AI script generator. Seriously, it’s impressive to get actors who are trying to bring life to dialogue so painful I’d rather listen to the gross stories from Salo The 120 Days of Sodom. The direction is flat, the eventual plot is overly long and convoluted despite the simplicity, and the attempts at themes and political commentary are muddled. Like the Book of Henry before it, it’s that typical Hollywood project where everyone involved thought they were making a truly special piece of art and failed. It’s annoying instead of funny, pretentious instead of smart, confusing instead of quirky and doesn’t have a point. Also David O. Russell’s bad history of abusing cast, crew, colleagues and his trans niece should be a red flag for actors to stop working with him. 3. Panama [Dir. Mark Neveldine]When Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor worked together, their work (no matter how bad) had energy. The two Crank films, Gamer and even their Ghost Rider sequel had a sense of drive and purpose. But since splitting up, their individual works have been less than their collaborations. Panama is a low budget, low effort thriller set in 1989 about generic CIA dealings and it’s terrible. Poor direction and lighting, abysmal action (from one of the guys who made Crank: that’s embarrassing), awful music and most of the writing is terrible. Mel Gibson is about the only actor who is trying to be better than the material (despite not being featured much) and Puerto Rican actress Kiara Liz is gorgeous in her nude sex scenes. Unfortunately, most of the film is the audience stuck with Cole Hauser not playing to his best abilities, resulting in the actionless action film being a badly made slog. While it mostly has the right tone for the story, it can’t even make itself look like the time period. I recommend watching the Narcos Netflix series or just playing the Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 campaign instead for similar vibes. 2. Terror on the Prairie [Dir. Michael Polish]Considering filmmakers have been making Westerns since the beginning of the medium, it’s amazing when one comes along and is just terrible. Produced by the bigoted and deranged right wing pundit Ben Shapiro as a wannabe film producer, the film features disgraced right wing self-victimizer transphobe + anti-vaxxer Gina Carano, the bigoted Donald Cerrone and conservative crybaby Nick Searcy in a mostly boring revenge frontier story. Despite their involvement, I tried my hardest to like this film as there was potential, and it failed. Large chunks of the overly long film are just watching a blank faced Gina Carano fight off evil cowboys in badly constructed shootouts. What's disappointing is that Michael Polish can make good films (eg. Northfork, The Astronaut Farmer), but this is currently on his bad streak alongside 30 Minutes in Heaven and Force of Nature. There's some good scenery, good use of gore and production values, but there's also some badly framed shots and janky camera work despite how good it can look sometimes. The ultimate problem is the story and narrative implications are all shoddy. It's a boring, dreary slog that's neither a fun violent western romp like Bone Tomahawk or Django Unchained, nor a meditative reflection of the west like Wind River or Unforgiven. It's just a misfire that occasionally has good shots and performances, but exists primarily so Ben Shapiro and Gina Carano can pretend like they're making movies upsetting the establishment and have relevant careers. Only a few years ago-Carano was in The Mandalorian and now has to settle for dreck like this and that Hunter Biden conspiracy movie. And as for Ben Shapiro, his wannabe filmmaker delusions keep making him a laughingstock by complaining about "wokeness" (a now right-wing buzz word to complain about diversity and progressive politics) and admitting he doesn't understand how murder mysteries work. Also, this movie having ex-Confederate soldiers act like their cause was noble is an obvious political omission because looks who's making it. If you want an overly long, poorly paced and confusingly structured western that doesn't even work as an action film, believe Ben Shapiro's grift and want to purchase a piece of media to "own the Libs": then this movie is perfect for you. 1. The Requin [Dir. Le-Van Kiet] This is one of the worst killer shark films I’ve ever seen. Worse than 47 Meters Down: Uncaged. Worse than Sharknado. It’s probably the closest we’ve gotten to Jaws: The Revenge levels of bad…and even then I think Jaws: The Revenge might be better. The Requin is a poorly acted, poorly written, poorly directed, terrible looking survival thriller film where the shark featured prominently on the poster doesn't appear for AN HOUR of this barely 80-minute film. It’s a needlessly serious film where Alicia Silverstone’s character is dealing with a miscarriage, her apathetic husband and getting swept out to sea during a storm. Nothing really happens for this film’s runtime that makes 80 minutes feel like 3 hours, and the unearned Piranha 3D/Evil Dead style ending comes off as pathetic. The Vietnamese director Le-Van Kiet actually made a much better film this year called The Princess that’s at least a solid film released to Star/Disney+. But this feels so amateur despite the nearly $10 Million budget and being filmed at Universal Studios. The terrible effects, dialogue, writing and the fact it can’t even be a proper killer shark film: it just angers me. And for that, it’s the worst film of 2022 by a small margin.
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