Written by Tyrone BruinsmaHonorable Mentions: -Ali [Dir. Michael Mann] -Along Came a Spider [Dir. Lee Tamahori] -Amélie [Dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet] -Amy's Orgasm [Dir. Julie Davis] -A Beautiful Mind [Dir. Ron Howard] -Behind the Sun [Dir. Walter Salles] -Beijing Bicycle [Dir. Wang Xiagoshuai] -Bones [Dir. Ernest Dickerson] -Center of the World [Dir. Wayne Wang] -Donnie Darko [Dir. Richard Kelly] -Enemy at the Gates [Dir. Jean-Jacques Annaud] -Enigma [Dir. Mchael Apted] -Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within [Dir. Hironobu Sakaguchi] -The Fluffer [Dir. Richard Glatzer and Wash West] -Ghosts of Mars [Dir. John Carpenter] -Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack [Dir. Shusuke Kaneko] -Gosford Park [Dir. Robert Altman] -Hannibal [Dir. Ridley Scott] -Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone [Dir. Chris Columbus] -Josie and the Pussycats [Dir. Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan] -Kate & Leopold [Dir. James Mangold] -The Last Kiss [Dir. Gabriele Muccino] -Liam [Dir. Stephen Frears] -The Lost World [Dir. Stuart Orme] -The Majestic [Dir. Frank Darabont] -The Man Who Wasn't There [Dir. Coen Brothers] -Metropolis [Dir. Rintaro] -The Mexican [Dir. Gore Verbinski] -Monkeybone [Dir. Henry Selick] -Monsoon Wedding [Dir. Mira Nair] -No Man's Land [Dir. Danis Tanović] -Ocean's Eleven [Dir. Steven Soderbergh] -The Piano Teacher [Dir. Michael Haneke] -Roadkill (Joy Ride) [Dir. John Dahl] -Shrek [Dir. Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson] -Spy Kids [Dir. Robert Rodriguez] -Sugar & Spice [Dir. Francine McDougall] -Suicide Club [Dir. Sion Sono] -The Tailor of Panama [Dir. John Boorman] -Training Day [Dir. Antoine Fuqua] -Vanilla Sky [Dir. Cameron Crowe] -Waking Life [Dir. Richard Linklater] 20. Dagon [Dir. Stuart Gordon]From the producer, director and writer who brought you prior Lovecraftian films in Re-Animator and From Beyond, adapted The Shadow Over Innsmouth into another horror classic. Very faithful in adaptation to the spirit, tone and style of the original story, the returning trio made the film of Dagon a true horror experience that never feels cheap or cliche. It has great effects, solid performances and the narrative that has made this story so memorable still stands. 19. Jason X [Dir. Jim Isaac]I genuinely feel like Jason X is both the perfect self-parody and loving tribute to the long running franchise that hadn't seen a good installment since 1986. Sending Jason into space turns out to be a good way to remind people that seeing Jason's classic traits and murdering people is still fun if done right. The cast manages to work with the horror/comedy elements, while the gory kills have never been better. Special mention goes to the liquid nitrogen face smash. While it's largely riffing on the Alien series, it's still a fun ride with a lot of craft put into it. 18. Moulin Rouge! [Dir. Baz Luhrmann]It took me a WHILE to learn to love Moulin Rouge, but I soundly believe this to be Baz Luhrman's best film. A bright, melodramatic and energetic musical that combines classic musical storytelling and emotions, with the modern adrenaline-fueled energy of co-current pop songs. The cast and director are completely in sync with the sincere emotions and dramatic story that often felt off for me. Plus, the music is great, with Lady Marmalade being my absolute favorite. While it's over a decade old, it still holds up. 17. Monsters, Inc. [Dir. Pete Doctor]Here's a movie that starts off as a fun premise before cleverly becoming a dark look at the effect of exploitative energy consumption on children. Between Monsters Inc, Up, Inside Out and Soul-Peter Docter has truly cemented himself as one of Pixar's best directors alongside Brad Bird and Andrew Stanton. This film has an amazing voice cast performing at the top of their game, is funny, touching and smart, and features some truly amazing animation. It's a great film, with even its low stakes prequel being solid fun. 16. Brotherhood of the Wolf [Dir. Christophe Gans]Before he directed Silent Hill, Christophe Gans made this inventive, fun and visually engaging action horror piece of cinema. Combine French ninjutsu and Werewolves with the right balance of seriousness and playful fun, and you've got a masterclass in genre filmmaking. Seriously, I don't know how much more I can express how cool this film is. 15. Session 9 [Dir. Brad Anderson]Before he directed the psychological thriller masterpiece The Machinist, Brad Anderson crafted another great psychological experience in Session 9. While the story starts out with a team of asbestos removers working in an asylum, it quickly spirals into a story of personal tensions, high strung emotions and the history of the asylum. It's one of the most underappreciated horror films of the early 2000s, focusing on performances and the harrowing experiences they go through. Don't spoil yourself, just watch this amazing horror film. 14. Atlantis: The Lost Empire [Dir. Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise]This is easily one of my personal favorite Disney animated films, it feels like the kind of Disney film tailor made for me. This epic adventure about discovering the lost continent of Atlantis yields exciting big action scenes, memorable characters and a story about colonizing imperialism being bad. The voice cast including Michael J. Fox and Cree Summer help bring their well written characters to life, with a unique art style making it feel distinct. While it underperformed at the box office, it's got a strong fanbase for a reason. 13. Sexy Beast [Dir. Jonathan Glazer]The directorial debut of one of the most unique filmmakers of the 21st century, Sexy Beast is a unique crime story that came out in the wake of Guy Ritchie arriving on the scene. Sexy Beast follows an ex-criminal being recruited to help commit a heist, with the heist not being the important part. Instead, the focus is one the dynamic between the amazingly performed and written characters by Ray Winstone, Ian McShane and the brilliant Ben Kingsley. Seriously, Ben Kingsley is this reason to see this movie as a swearing, aggressive and weirdly charming criminal trying to recruit Ray Winstone and it's just a magnetic performance. If you're a fan of Guy Ritchie's British crime comedies, seek this out. 12. Y tu mamá también [Dir. Alfonso Cuarón]The movie that got Alfonso Cuarón the 3rd Harry Potter film job, Y Tu Mama Tambien is a romantic and erotic drama with great actors. It's basically an uncompromised coming of age story with no restraint on emotions, sex or political background. While Cuarón wouldn't revisit this kind of setting until 2018's Roma, his 2001 drama is still one of his best films thanks to his signature direction that barely cuts away and the amazing trio leads. It should be required viewing for all cinephiles. 11. Pulse (Kairo) [Dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa]One of the scariest films from the early 2000s, Japan's Pulse or Kairo is easily the most frightening version of "internet ghosts" brought to the screen. It's a film that manages to convey a sense of postmodern depression, technological fears and pure nightmarish horror into a truly haunting story. Alongside Ju-On The Grudge, The Ring and Audition-Pulse remains one of the great J-Horror films at the turn of the century that remains a near masterpiece. The eventual reveal of the story and the fate of the characters is truly one of the most chilling experiences I've ever had in a film. 10. In the Bedroom [Dir. Todd Field]Between In the Bedroom, Little Children and Tar: Todd Field has cemented himself as one of the best directors of dramas that betray the norms. In the Bedroom follows tragedy involving love, murder, failure of justice, grief and revenge in a more nuanced way than similar works. It has an amazing lead cast including Sissy Spacek, Tom Wilkinson and Marisa Tomei, all giving top notch performances. It's an emotional, mature and human story with no easy answers and Field's grasp of cinematic language is excellent. If you've not seen it, absolutely do. 9. Spy Game [Dir. Tony Scott]The late and legendary Tony Scott's first film for the 21st Century has become one of the best spy films ever made. The story of an older C.I.A Agent played by Robert Redford recounting his history with young hot head agent Brad Pitt is the set up for a great story of two men in the wings of history. Spy Game adapts classic spy ideas into a new form and style by one of the great action directors thanks to a sharp script. Redford and Pitt give amazing chemistry and are the reasons to see this modern masterpiece. 8. Ichi the Killer [Dir. Takashi Miike]Following his ultra-gory Yakuza film Dead or Alive and disturbing horror film Audition, Takashi Miike made an ultra-gory disturbing yakuza horror film in Ichi the Killer. A film that literally shows its depravity in scene 1, Ichi the Killer is full to the brim with gore, sexual content, insane characters and a bizarre plot that took me a few goes to fully appreciate. This is not for the faint of heart but is a psychotically wonderful experience you won't soon forget. 7. The Devil’s Backbone [Dir. Guillermo Del Toro]After dealing with the incredibly problematic Harvey Weinstein on Mimic (which is still awesome), Guillermo Del Toro went back to his earnest Spanish language horror roots with The Devil's Backbone. A gothic horror film set during the Spanish Civil War, the film is essentially a preview for the masterpiece Pan's Labyrinth the director would make 5 years later. The Devil's Backbone is a great ghostly horror tale with heart, characters, charm and scares that mean something. Never seen it? Fix that. 6. Visitor Q [Dir. Takashi Miike]The same year Takashi Miike delivered Ichi the Killer, he also delivered the maddeningly disturbed and brilliant Visitor Q. It's a story full of so much taboo material that I feel you wouldn't be me or think I'm describing pornography. But trust me, if you're up for some incredibly strange and confronting content-I cannot recommend this enough. Don't look it up, just ride the wave. 5. Millennium Actress [Dir. Satoshi Kon]The late Satoshi Kon left a mark on animation and visual storytelling the like of which has yet to be surpassed. Millennium Actress is a drama through time about an actress who seeks to find her lost love, in every way possible. The animation is fluid, with Kon's use of editing to achieve visual information and transitioning through time and space like a master. Its closest live action comparisons would be Spike Jonze's Adaptation and Darren Aronofsky's The Fountain, but in pure animated perfection. 4. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring [Dir. Peter Jackson]After decades of waiting, years of development and shooting-Tolkien fans and movie going audiences were given the spectacle of this fantasy journey starting in epic fashion in live action. Peter Jackson and company made Middle Earth feel lived in, its characters developed and the beginning of this journey truly palpable. The cast did an amazing job with Ian McKellen as Gandalf and Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn being iconic heroes. The direction, score, use of various effects, action and even elements of horror work perfectly to set the stage not just for the trilogy, but the rest of 21st Century cinema. 3. Mulholland Drive [Dir. David Lynch]David Lynch delivered unto us a modern surrealist masterpiece with this dream like experience, designed to challenge your perceptions. Mulholland Drive will appear confusing at first, but if you go along with its strange narrative and characters-you'll appreciate it darkness, quirky humor and ultimate truth revealed by the narrative. One part Alice in Wonderland and another part Sunset Boulevard, it's a brilliant neo noir tale filled with some amazing actors. Don't avoid this any longer. 2. Black Hawk Down [Dir. Ridley Scott]Ridley Scott has left classics in multiple genres from horror in Alien, sci-fi in Blade Runner, fantasy in Legend, sword and sandal epics in Gladiator and war films in Black Hawk Down. Here's a film that plays out as a drama, ensemble piece and extended shootout, crafted to nigh perfection. The cast of great actors do well with the part of history they're placed in, the direction, editing and effects are brilliant and the overall effects is incredible. Its legacy as one of the greatest war films (especially in the modern era) holds up, especially with the inspiration its continued to have. 1. Spirited Away [Dir. Hayao Miyazaki]What more need be said about this masterpiece? Hayao Miyazaki's strange, fascinating and beautiful fairy tale was for many people-their first experience with anime (it was mine outside of Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!). Whether you're watching the Japanese or English dub, you're getting a great story about a girl confronting a strange fantasy world and growing up. The visual are beyond gorgeous, entering transcendent-with the character motions and designs being the highlights. The effective use of sound and music creates this amazing emotional effect and the story itself develops wonderfully. There's no competition, it's the absolute best cinema had to offer from 2001.
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Written by Tyrone Bruinsma-The Affair of the Necklace [Dir. Charles Shyer] -A.I. Artificial Intelligence [Dir. Steven Spielberg] -Behind Enemy Lines [Dir. John Moore] -Black Knight [Dir. Gil Junger] -Cats & Dogs [Dir. Lawrence Guterman] -Driven [Dir. Renny Harlin] -Epoch [Dir. Matt Codd] -Exit Wounds [Dir. Andrzej Bartkowiak] -The Fast and the Furious [Dir. Rob Cohen] -From Hell [Dir. The Hughes Brothers] -Glitter [Dir. Vondie Curtis Hall] -Imposter [Dir. Gary Fleder] -Jeepers Creepers [Dir. Victor Salva] -Joe Dirt [Dir. Dennie Gordon] -Ripper: Letter from Hell [Dir. John Eyres] -Scary Movie 2 [Dri. Keenen Ivory Wayans] -Soulkeeper [Dir. Darin Ferriola] -Swordfish [Dir. Dominic Sena] -Tempted [Dir. Bill Bennett] -Texas Rangers [Dir. Steve Miner] -Trapped [Dir. Deran Sarafian] -Valentine [Dir. Jamie Banks] 10. The Mummy Returns [Dir. Stephen Sommers]1999’s The Mummy still remains an amazing blockbuster action/horror adventure to this day. But its immediate sequel was a serious downgrade. I know people love the cast and action scenes, but the film’s lacking CGI effects and unnecessary changes to the story do not hold up. While the original had characters in their situation of their own choosing (Greed, Investigation etc), this film now retcons that to make these characters “destined” to be there and I just get sad as it removes their agency or originality. And while I enjoy the action scenes, they’re not as engaging as the original’s. The package overall feels like a watered down, less perfect version of a genuinely great original. I can at least say it’s not as bad as either the 3rd film or the 2017 remake. 9. Jurassic Park 3 [Dir. Joe Johnston]The first Jurassic Park remains a masterpiece of sci-fi horror/adventure filmmaking. And while many have cried about the Jurassic World series, I’m sorry to say that Jurassic Park 3 is the worst film in the series. While the CGI, practical effects and baseline filmmaking are top notch: it’s the story and execution that fails. While a complete script was being used in pre-production, director Joe Johnston threw it out 6 weeks before filming to basically make a worse version of that original script. There’s no real story, instead it’s just “Go to the dinosaur island, now get off the dinosaur island”. While the film is the shortest film in the series at 90 minutes, it feels the longest with how much nothing happens. The characters are underdeveloped, spacial geography is poor with dinosaurs existing the moment the film says so, and many of the set pieces are far too short. I actually don’t mind the awesome Spinosaurus V.S T-Rex fight that fans have issues with, but it’s just a worse version of Jurassic Park. It feels like the bad, bland B-movie the series has often avoided trying to be. 8. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider [Dir. Simon West]Yes, Angelina Jolie is perfect casting for Lara Croft and visually captures that character on screen better than any other actress probably ever will. But this movie is dumb. It opens with Lara fighting a robot in a temple and only gets dumber from there. While they’ve removed much of the problematic colonial aspect that comes with the territory, it also means that not much happens. There’s one kind of cool Matrix rip-off action scene and another scene in a temple that feels out of the games, but it’s just not an interesting story. It feels like this could be any generic blockbuster action film that just happens to have Lara Croft in it. Unfortunately, none of the Tomb Raider films are any good and I look forward to when the first good one opens with Lara versus a T-Rex. 7. Thirteen Ghosts [Dir. Steve Beck]While a guilty pleasure amongst horror fans, I’ve never been able to really enjoy this film. A lesser version of the surprisingly decent House on Haunted Hill remake from 1999, Thirteen Ghosts suffers from so many problems that cascade into a bad film. While the production design of a glass house is impressive, that creates problems for either visually interesting scenes and makes shooting and editing a complete mess. While it’s admirable for this film to put in far more effort and money into a classic haunted house premise, it ends up doing worse than its contemporaries or even the classics. Nauseating editing, lackluster performances, a spirograph plot where not much happens and all the intricately designed ghosts only get their backstories explained in a bonus feature on the DVD. I know people have a lot of love for this film, but it’s a visual mess and the director’s follow up film Ghost Ship is only slightly better. 6. Planet of the Apes [Dir. Tim Burton]The first Tim Burton remake set the standard for the rest of his bad remake trend. A technically and visually impressive film with amazing effects…that has no idea what it’s doing from a story or thematic point. The original Planet of the Apes film was very blunt, but appreciated for its thematic storytelling. This one is confused, convoluted and weirdly boring for a sci-fi action film. The cast is either over-acting or under-acting and there’s very few bright spots in here. Michael Clarke Duncan and Helena Bonham Carter are the only consistently good performances, the ape makeup is still great today and the scene Tim Roth and Charlton Heston share being the best part of the film. And yes, that ending is so nonsensical even Tim Burton doesn’t know what happened. I am glad the new current series is far better. 5. Reptilian [Dir. Shim Hyung-rae]In 1999, comedic actor and director Shim Hyung-rae produced a remake of the 60's monster movie Yonggary. After a festival release, the filmmakers decided to shoot more scenes and use CGI to make an enhanced film for the public to see. That film would be released in 2001 as "Yonggary: 2001 Upgrade Edition", or more easily-Reptilian. The original cut has never been publicly seen and I think that version would've probably been at least a little better. The final film is an overly long, overly serious film that relies on a cast of idiots to do nothing or ignore things anyone should be able to see. I'm sure some of the unwise decisions like a horrible CGI alien spaceship hovering over earth that takes far too long for someone to notice comes from the upgraded edition and not the original cut. The writing is obvious and needlessly cheesy for the tone, the performances are not very good (with acknowledging the filmmakers are South Korean and English is not their first language, but why not just make it with Korean actors) and the effects (practical and CGI) are not good. Is it even good as a straight up monster movie when it finally appears 35 minutes in? Nope, the effects are still bad, it's not exciting, the plot is stop-and-start and the attempts at humor fall flat. I will say Hyung-rae did manage to make basically the same film but better in 2007 called Dragon Wars (or D-War). 4. Pearl Harbor [Dir. Michael Bay]You’ll find no greater defender of Michael Bay’s filmmaking style than me, but Pearl Harbor just sucks. Michael Bay trying to make a classical, romantic war drama in the tradition of cliche Hollywood Oscar bait is not something he should ever have done. While ultimately necessary for Bay to realize the kind of films he's best at, Pearl Harbor still stands as a long, boring, plodding, horribly written romance film where you’re waiting for Bay’s relatively well-made Pearl Harbor sequence. And while that sequence is well made, having a fun and bombastic version of Pearl Harbor is just bad taste. And unfortunately, actors like Ben Affleck and Kate Beckinsale were still yet to find their footing in roles that would be perfect for them. I respect Bay, the technical craft on display and the internet-but this movie is easily the worst in his career. 3. Raptor [Dir. Jim Wynorski]Roger Corman's attempts to cash in on Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park franchise may have started strong with Carnosaur and Carnosaur 2 but starting with 1996's Carnosaur: Primal Species - this franchise got lazy. 2001's Raptor has all the hallmarks of a cheap, slapped together film including recycled footage from the nearly 10-year-old original (making continuity failures), stock music purchased from James Horner's library and Eric Roberts. While Roger Corman's work was known for this kind of approach from the 50's to the 80's, by 2001 - we had standards. I can admire the gumption of the team to make something work, but everything good here is taken from better a film that wasn't even that great. 2. Town and Country [Dir. Peter Chelsom]Town and Country is an infamously bad, Hollywood production nightmare where legendary actor Warren Beatty kept demanding more takes for scenes and producers kept wanting to change the script. The result was a film that was in production for over 2 years and went from a budget of $44 Million to $90 Million. Reviews were bad, the film barely made $10 Million at the box office and it is most certainly bad. The story of old, stuffy New York social elites going through relationship problems is not an exciting premise. It’s not funny, challenging, well-made or engaging by any means. And director Peter Chelsom would go on to make other forgotten bad movies including The Space Between Us and Hanna Montana: The Movie. Yeah, it’s not even interesting in a bad way. It’s just bad in a boring way. 1. Freddy Got Fingered [Dir. Tom Green]I have a lot of respect for Tom Green. I hate this movie to hell and back though. Freddy’s Got Fingered is one of the legendarily bad films, a comedy with no humor and designed to offend or shock. Tom Green made a film which contains so many nonsensical and childishly disturbing scenes that would only amuse 14 year olds that think South Park is the greatest thing ever. Not one joke works, the performances (aside from Green) are weirdly underplayed, it doesn’t have a real sense of pace, theme or goal, and I didn’t enjoy a second of it.
And I know the film has developed a cult following with some people legitimately trying to claim the film is an anti-art, or a satire of gross out comedies or a piece of Dadaist cinema…but no. Stop. If this film has a weird hold over you, fine. I just cannot find value (baseline or high minded) in this unfunny comedy. I know some people want to make comedy that’s so unfunny it becomes funny again: but that’s more like being beaten into submission with bad humor. Like the infamous Monty Python “Spam” sketch or the bullfrog scene from Family Guy. They’re not actually that funny. And Tom Green didn’t intend for some comedy satire of comedy, he made a film with whatever he thought would be disturbing or shockingly funny. I hate Freddy’s Got Fingered and I envy the people who find value in it. |
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