Written by Tyrone BruinsmaHonorable Mentions -Ae Fond Kiss... [Dir. Ken Loach] -Appleseed [Dir. Shinji Aramaki] -The Aviator [Dir. Martin Scorsese] -Birth [Dir. Jonathan Glazer] -The Butterfly Effect [Dir. Eric Bress and J. Mackye Gruber] -Cellular [Dir. David R. Ellis] -The Chronicles of Riddick [Dir. David Twohy] -Closer [Dir. Mike Nichols] -Cutie Honey [Dir. Hideaki Anno] -Dawn of the Dead [Dir. Zack Snyder] -The Day After Tomorrow [Dir. Roland Emmerich] -Dhoom [Dir. Sanjay Gadhvi] -Downfall [Dir. Oliver Hirschbiegel] -Enduring Love [Dir. Roger Michell] -Exorcist: The Beginning [Dir. Renny Harlin] -Fahrenheit 9/11 [Dir. Michael Moore] -Frankenfish [Dir. Mark A.Z. Dippé] -The Grudge [Dir. Takashi Shimizu] -Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban [Dir. Alfonso Cuarón] -Hotel Rwanda [Dir. Terry George] -House of Flying Daggers [Dir. Zhang Yimou] -Immortel, ad vitam [Dir. Enki Bilal] -Kill Bill Vol. 2 [Dir. Quinten Tarantino] -Layer Cake [Dir. Matthew Vaughn] -Le Portrait de Petit Cossette [Dir. Akiyuki Shinbo] -The Manchurian Candidate [Dir. Jonathan Demme] -Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers [Dir. Donovan Cook] -Milk Money [Dir. Norihiko Nagahama] -Mindhunters [Dir. Renny Harlin] -National Treasure [Dir. Jon Turteltaub] -9 Songs [Dir. Michael Winterbottom] -The Ordeal [Dir. Fabrice Du Welz] -The Polar Express [Dir. Robert Zemeckis] -Pusher 2 [Dir. Nicolas Winding Refn] -Scooby-Doo! and the Loch Ness Monster [Dir. Scott Jeralds and Joe Sichta] -Seed of Chucky [Dir. Don Mancini] -Shaun of the Dead [Dir. Edgar Wright] -Shrek 2 [Dir. Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury and Conrad Vernon] -Shutter [Dir. Banjong Pisanthanakun and Parkpoom Wongpoom] -Speak [Dir. Jessica Sharzer] -Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation [Dir. Phil Tippett] -Team America: World Police [Dir. Trey Parker] -The Terminal [Dir. Steven Spielberg] -Torque [Dir. Joseph Kahn] -Troy (Director's Cut) [Dir. Wolfgang Petersen] -Van Helsing [Dir. Stephen Sommers] -Vanity Fair [Dir. Mira Nair] -Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light [Dir. Hatsuki Tsuji] 20. Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid [Dir. Dwight H. Little]The original 1997 Anaconda still stands as a great monster film and this sequel...also does-avoiding the trend of bad horror sequels years later (even if the rest of the series did). Directed by workman director Dwight H. Little who also gave us Bloodstone, Halloween 4 and Marked for Death - the film has a level quality on par with the original film. It has memorable visuals, set-piece moments and a great cast of actors to make it stand out in a sea of lesser creature features. 19. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow [Dir. Kerry Conran]The film industry owes a lot to Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It was one of the first films outside the Star Wars prequels to push the blue-screen and digital backlot shooting style that's now used by almost every major blockbuster today. The intentional pulpy, retro story fits the stylized visuals and tone the film goes for as an homage to 50's serials like Flash Gordon. The cast does great work with the material in selling it, the numerous action scenes are fun and the visuals do hold up. It was film like Sin City, 300 and MirrorMask to show how creativity with the form can result in great things. 18. Alien V.S Predator (Unrated Edition) [Dir. Paul W.S Anderson]While both iconic monsters were made for adults, both franchises (especially upon their crossover in the comics) ultimately had an appeal in younger audiences. This cinematic crossover saw the revitalized director Paul W.S Anderson bring a quality and production value to a cheesy story to where it impressed James Cameron. The action, horror, acting, visuals and well put together enough in a story inspired by Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness. It's goofy and silly, but ultimately well-made and a lot of fun. 17. Dawn of the Dead [Dir. Zack Snyder]Zack Snyder's directorial debut sees him remake a George A. Romeo classic zombie film for the new era thanks to a smart screenplay by James Gunn. From the imaginative opening to pyrotechnic finale, Snyder gives us a thrilling action horror experience that jumped off from 28 Days Later and helped give rise to the 21st century's infatuation with the undead monster. Rounded off by a great set of actors, effective gory violence and a spiritual successor in Army of the Dead years later-Dawn of the Dead is still one of Snyder's best. 16. The Bourne Supremacy [Dir. Paul Greengrass]Evolving the established formula in the Bourne Identity, director Pual Greengrass gives us a grittier and more action packed take on Jason Bourne. Matt Damon develops the character further in this action-packed ride with great twists, emotional beats, Karl Urban as a great villain and fantastic set pieces. This film pioneered the "shaky cam" feel, and while many films failed to use it-it's still effective here. 15. Saw [Dir. James Wan]While the franchise wore out its welcome, James Wan's original Saw is a damn good thriller. Instead of using gore and an overly elaborate narrative that the sequels used, Saw was a psychological experience where implication and visual execution terrified you. The cast is incredible, the horror still works, the score is iconic and that ending really does pack a wallop. James Wan got his Hollywood start here and has gone on to be both one of best horror and blockbuster specialists. 14. Spider-Man 2 [Dir. Sam Raimi]Considered the best live-action Spider-Man film of all time, Sam Raimi and company made a superior film than the web-head feature they started on. More narratively confident, better CGI and action and containing one of the best Spider-Man movie scenes with Doc Oc's birth: Spider-Man 2 rocks. While I do feel the ending battle is a bit short of greatness, the overall film is easily one of the best Marvel adaptations to date. 13. The Incredibles [Dir. Brad Bird]
Brad Bird's second effort after the masterpiece The Iron Giant is another great sci-fi action story. The Incredibles sees a family of superheroes face off against a threat to their existence as heroes, and their own flaws as family members. The direction is brilliant, the script is sharp, the vocal performances are perfect and the action scenes are better than many live-action equivalents of the era. I do have to acknowledge that the film and Brad Bird's clear interests in objectivism do make the film occasionally problematic. The phrase "once everyone is super, no one will be" has a lot to unpack and whether you read that from the creative point of view Bird seems to be aiming for or the problematic political/social allegory-it's hard to ignore in the plot. The films' still great and easily one of Pixar's best...too bad the sequel wasn't very good. 12. Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence [Dir. Mamoru Oshii]Asking for a sequel to Ghost in the Shell (one of the greatest pieces of visual art ever created) sounds like a death wish and while Innocence can't match its predecessor, it's still a great ride. Retaining the execution of the prior film, it focuses on a different kind of narrative and themes while still being tied to its past. The visuals are flawless as expected, the action scenes are wonderful and there's an amazing parade sequence that's till one of the best animated moments in cinema. While the story isn't quite there, it's still a beautiful ride. 11. Dead Man's Shoes [Dir. Shane Meadows]Dead Man's Shoes is what happens if you combine British kitchen-sink realism with a slasher. The film is a horror film, but not in your typical way. It often looks more like low-budget British dramas at the time but is still terrifying as a horror film. Paddy Considine is a magnetic monster amongst the talented cast and his story is both horrifying and truly sad. If you're a fan of 2011's Tyrannosaur or the horror filmography of Ben Wheatley, I highly encourage you give this a watch. 10. Godzilla: Final Wars [Dir. Ryuhei Kitamura]This was the last Godzilla film we had for 10 years until 2014's Godzilla, but the Toho franchise went out with a bang. Final Wars is a goody, sci-fi fueled love letter to the kaiju's legacy, full of giant monster battles that are so ridiculously fun. The plot is very goofy, but that's what one should hope/expect form a Godzilla film and there's never a dull moment. Plus, it helps that Ryuhei Kitamura brings a lot of energy to the film after directing Aragami the prior year (before going on to make the excellent Midnight Meat Train). If you want fun, excitement and tons of monster battles-look no further. 9. Creep [Dir. Christopher Smith]Creep is what happens when you take video nasty/exploitation movie premise and give it the right money and execution to make a great film. It's the kind of low-key monster affair that had more to comment on society and humanity in the margins than just deliver a thrilling experience (much like The Descent and The Host now long after). Creep feels claustrophobic, nightmarish and even apocalyptic in some instances; giving its solid cast enough material to elevate the gory and horrifying experience. If you've not seen it, you should. 8. The Machinist [Dir. Brad Anderson]While The Machinist (much like Secret Window) can feel somewhat cliche by current standards, it's a film whose details outside the big twist are why it's so great. Playing out as a kind of purgatorial tragedy, the film sees a remarkable performance by Christian Bale (right before he did Batman Begins) as a man clearly regretting his life. It's not scary and more of a psychological drama/thriller with how much it focuses on characters over scares. And while Brad Anderson's interesting filmography would never be this acclaimed, The Machinist showed he's still a great talent. 7. Bad Education [Dir. Pedro Almodóvar]Bad Education is one of those films that I found rather revolutionary in my formative years as a know-it-all film student. It's a drama that's never boring and deals with themes of LGBTQIA+ lifestyles and Catholic sex abuse crimes. The film functions in a very interesting way narratively that I won't spoil but is something any screenwriter or storyteller should watch. The actors really give it their all, without any fear or hesitation for the content within. It's easily my favorite film by Pedro Almodovar who also made the excellent The Skin I Live In 7 years later. 6. Dumplings [Dir. Fruit Chan]I'm not gonna tell you a damn thing about this film aside from how great and nasty it is. It's a film that dealings with similar themes to Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth (though narratively and stylistically very different) and is one of the few Chinese films to actually comment on China's bad practices. The filmmaking, acting, music and cinematography are all great-but it's the plot and thematic point that lands the hardest. Look up absolutely nothing and just go in blind with a strong stomach. 5. Hellboy [Dir. Guillermo Del Toro]After Guillermo Del Toro did a great job with Blade 2, he made a better comic book film in this adaptation of Hellboy. Del Toro's Hellboy is the perfect balance of a superhero story, sci-fi fantasy horror experience and even a light Lovecraftian world. Ron Perlman has Hellboy is one of the best comic book casting choices, with every other actor being amazing. The action, monster effects, humanization of its characters and eventual narrative flow all work like gangbusters. I do prefer the sequel, but this film rocks. 4. Man on Fire [Dir. Tony Scott]The late Tony Scott made many action classics in Top Gun, The Last Boy Scout, Crimson Tide, Enemy of the State and Spy Game-but Man on Fire is his masterpiece. A visual powerhouse where he experimented in color and editing to evoke panic and madness in the world of crime and kidnapping in Mexico. Denzel Washington has great chemistry with the cast, especially the wonderful Dakoto Fanning and Christopher Walken. The revenge narrative works after developing the characters up front, the script works, the action scenes are effective and it really is just solidified by its direction. Tony Scott always had the ability to turn a by the numbers film into an experience. R.I.P you action visionary. 3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind [Dir. Michel Gondry]One of the most beloved and well praised films of the 2000s, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by director Michel Gondry and Charlie Kaufman is a sci-fi film focused on emotion. It's a story that takes sci-fi conceits often used in action thrillers (The Matrix eg.) and uses it to tell a story about how all our good and bad experiences make us who we are and the problems erasing those can cause. Jim Carrey brings a great energy to this role, as it feels like an evolution to his Truman Show performance. The supporting cast in Kate Winslet, Mark Ruffalo, Kirsten Dunst and Elijah Wood all do a great job too. But it's the marriage of Kaufman's human script and Michel Gondry's directorial gifts that make this one of the best films of its time. 2. Howl’s Moving Castle [Dir. Hayao Miyazaki]While Hayao Miyazaki films always gain a degree of acclaim, Howl's Moving Castle did not. In fact, it was criticized for its departure from the source material's original themes. In doing so however, Miyazaki made the film his own auteur story that while dealing with concepts of age and gender; is primarily an anti-war story. Miyazaki pursued the narrative in response to 9/11 and the Iraq War, with a film that expresses the pointless destruction and motivations behind war. As expected of Studio Ghibli, the animation is beyond phenomenal and feels like a natural successor to the masterpiece Spirited Away. The Japanese and English dub casts are both great: with my favorites of the English cast being Billy Crystal as a little fire demon, Emily Mortimer as the young version of our protagonist and Christian Bale as the titular wizard Howl. Seriously, Bale is amazing here and should do more voice work in media. But it is Miyazaki's narrative that makes this so great. While many have claimed that there's "no story", that's rubbish. Howl's Moving Castle's story is entirely about the pointless and petty "need" for conflict with each other and how many people's actions only exist to destroy others and themselves. It's sometimes a cute story about a surrogate family but knows when to be serious about the need for compassion, pacifism and when to do what's right. I know some people believe that changing an original text's themes and ideas in adaptations is bad...but Stanley Kubrick made a better version of The Shining when he did it-so I've no problem loving Miyazaki's own auteur adaptation. 1. Collateral [Dir. Michael Mann]But the best film of the year I reserve for Michael Mann's 21st century masterclass in neo noir action storytelling. The story of a taxi driver helping an assassin take out his targets in one night is the start of a thrilling journey, Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise have a killer chemistry as the driver and assassin respectively, with this being the best performances by both actors out of their entire career. That chemistry is important as it's essentially a story about an inhuman killer and optimistic every man slowly adopting elements from each other before the emotional climax. The action scenes are great, with Michael Mann's prior masterpiece Heat proving that already. Mann's uses of digital handheld cameras create a great naturalistic feel, modern style and sense of unease while keeping the action clear. The film is a minor masterpiece, not needing a massive scope or 3-hour runtime to do its job perfectly. It's an easy pick as the best film of 2004.
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Written by Tyrone BruinsmaDishonorable Mentions: -Adam and Evil [Dir. Andrew Van Slee] -After the Sunset [Dir. Brett Ratner] -The Alamo [Dir. John Lee Hancock] -The Big Bounce [Dir. George Armitage] -Blade: Trinity [Dir. David S. Goyer] -The Card Player [Dir. Dario Argento] -The Clearing [Dir. Justin Haythe] -Death Valley [Dir. David Kebo and Rudi Liden] -The Forgotten [Dir. Joseph Ruben] -Frost: Portrait of a Vampire [Dir. Kevin VanHook] -Godsend [Dir. Nick Hamm] -I, Robot [Dir. Alex Proyas] -Jersey Girl [Dir. Kevin Smith] -King Arthur [Dir. Antoine Fuqua] -Lady Death: The Movie [Dir. Andy Orjuela] -The Ladykillers [Dir. Coen Brothers] -Legend of Earthsea [Dir. Robert Lieberman] -The Libertine [Dir. Laurence Dunmore] -The Lion King ½ [Dir. Bradley Raymond] -Mindhunters [Dir. Renny Harlin] -Napoleon Dynamite [Dir. Jared Hess] -Never Die Alone [Dir. Ernest Dickerson] -The Notebook [Dir. Nick Cassavetes] -Resident Evil: Apocalypse [Dir. Alexander Witt] -Shadow of Fear [Dir. Rich Cowan] -Shark Tale [Dir. Vicky Jenson, Bibo Bergeron, Rob Letterman] -Snakehead Terror [Dir. Paul Ziller] -The Stepford Wives [Dir. Frank Oz] -Surviving Christmas [Dir. Mike Mitchell] -Without a Paddle [Dir. Steven Brill] 10. Taking Lives [Dir. D. J. Caruso] 9 years after David Fincher’s Se7en, audiences received this poor attempt to continue the scary serial killer thriller film genre. After a somewhat messy pre-production with a change in director, lead actress and rewrites: the result is an incredibly lacking crime story. Angelina Jolie and Ethan Hawke don’t have chemistry despite the supposed romantic plot, it’s not super scary or interesting and lacks a satisfying resolve. The “director’s cut” (Which might just be the non-Televison version) does have a longer sex scene and nastier death reveal-but not enough to make it even an enjoyable exploitation flick. It has a good opening scene and that’s about it. 9. Alexander (Every Version) [Dir. Oliver Stone]I say every version of Alexander is bad because Oliver Stone has made about 4 versions over the course of 10 years based on a broken skeleton. The problem with 2004’s Alexander isn’t Colin Farrell keeping his Irish accent or Angelina Jolie being over the top-it’s because it’s boring. It tries to tell the entire life of Alexander the Great, but having no real point or voice to say it with. Yes, the film has an epic scope and is mostly faithful to history-but it’s a slog to get through, regardless which version you watch. 8. The Phantom of the Opera [Dir. Joel Schumacher]The late Joel Schumacher had good and great films under his belt: The Lost Boys, Flatliners, Falling Down, A Time to Kill, 8mm, Phone Booth and even Blood Creek are all totally worth watching. While I think the internet hatred for 1997’s Batman and Robin is overstated; I can say his adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera is a massive disappointment. Tonally and stylistically, the film is confused on whether it wants to be a dreamlike world or a realistic story. The cast ranges from poor to average, with Gerard Butler as the Phantom being the worst offender. Some of the shots and dance moves are nice, but it’s a lacking film that does very little in the way of excitement or enchantment. 7. Thunderbirds [Dir. Jonathan Frakes]Thunderbirds suits live action more than many other nostalgia properties and this attempt FAILED. While I can praise elements like the score, opening credits, the accurate designs of the titular machines, the cinematography of Brendan Galvin (Behind Enemy Lines, Immortals, Escape Plan, Solace, Unhinged) and casting Sophia Myles as Lady Penelope-the rest just sucks. Jonathan Frakes (Yes, William Riker from Star Trek: The Next Generation) largely gets what the tone and story SHOULD be, but the actual sequence of events and narrative throughline feels closer to a bad Spy Kids or Disney Channel movie. Outside of an early disaster scene, the rest of it is just over acted ridiculousness that isn't much fun. And I hope Ben Kingsley at least had some fun playing the villain, because the movie just makes him look ridiculous. Maybe Thunderbirds should be given the dark and edgy treatment next time. 6. I Heart Huckabees [Dir. David O. Russell]This self-described “existential comedy” is neither insightful, nor is it even funny. It’s a cute idea, but it’s something that either deserved a sci-fi conceit to make it seem more ridiculous like Terry Gilliam’s Brazil or a creative methodology to be more interesting like Dave Made a Maze. Instead, it feels like one of those pretentious "quirky" indie comedies or a rejected Wes Anderson film. Is the cast fully committed to the material and giving it their all? Yes, and they should be commended for that. But the premise, bad story and lack of genuine humor makes it a really painful slog to get through. Oh, and David O. Russell’s tantrum on the set of this film is an example of why he shouldn’t be making movies anymore (aside from his lack of talent). He had a meltdown about his inability to communicate, threw items as a crew member and acted like a spoiled brat. Also, if I Heart Huckabees was a film you spent “3 years on” David, that was a waste of time. David O. Russell is an unprofessional talent who has weirdly earned himself status in Hollywood, mis-treated cast members, crew and other filmmakers because he’s clearly got anger issues and also sexually assaulted his trans niece but tried to blame her. To quote Stewie in the Family Guy episode “Petergeist”: “I haven't seen anything suck this much since I Heart Huckabees.” 5. Home on the Range [Dir. Will Finn and John Sanford]Disney animation had a very rough patch in the mid-2000’s with a severe lack of direction. Home on the Range doesn’t even feel like a Disney film, it feels like a slightly better animated version of a Disney rip-off from the 90s. The plot suffers in terms of motivation and progression, with this feeling almost more childish than Dora the Explorer. Most of the cast is too good for this film and its weak script…aside from future QAnon conspiracy theorist Rosanne Barr who makes this film really uncomfortable to revisit. And even though Randy Quaid went off the deep end too, his role as the bad guy and the accompanying villain song is actually pretty good. But yeah, probably best not to show this to your kids. 4. Christmas with the Kranks [Dir. Joe Roth]This is a really mean-spirited film and I have no idea why those involved wanted to make it. Based on a poorly received story by John Grisham (Yes, the legal thriller novelist), the film follows a couple who decide to not celebrate Christmas traditionally and comedy theoretically ensues. In reality, everyone becomes a jerk or Christmas cultist. Aside from the fact that the couple’s plans are not strange to Americans, their attitude is extremely snobbish while everyone else around them becomes some version of a cultist or emotional gaslighter. There’s a supposedly heartwarming ending, but it feels hollow with the nasty attitude the film had throughout. Tim Allen is someone you’d expect to be in this garbage, but why is Jamie Lee Curtis here? 3. Garfield: The Movie [Dir. Peter Hewitt]The story of why Bill Murray took this role is far more interesting and funnier than anything in this film. Despite being based on a popular comedy strip, the film lacks any laughs or personality. Murray’s performance is lifeless, while the rest of the cast have nothing to work with. The plot is cliche, the writing is lazy and the direction is perfunctory at best. It really does feel like a film everyone made while asleep. 2. Catwoman [Dir. Pitof]After Batman Returns put Catwoman into the spotlight for mainstream audiences, people wanted a film just about her. 12 years later and we ended up with one of the worst superhero movies ever made. The film lacks anything to do with Catwoman from the comics aside from her superhero name and costume, she’s not even called Selina Kyle-instead changed to Patience Phillips. The bizarre fantasy origin of cats breathing life into her and making her act like a cat feels so stupid. The story proper being about a toxic beauty cream cover-up feels like a joke, especially with the numerous gaps in logic along the way. The CGI and cinematography is truly terrible, making every action scene feel like Uwe Boll directed them. I will say that most of the cast is actually trying their best, with supporting actors Alex Borstein and Benjamin Bratt bringing some life to the film. Haley Berry actually commits to the role really well and would’ve made a great Catwoman with a proper script. Her costume and raw sex appeal is still aesthetically pleasing in a somewhat juvenile sensibility. Sharon Stone is actually the weak link as a boring and nonsensical villain. Between Catwoman and Elektra failing in the mid-2000’s, I’m glad female lead superhero films are better now with Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel. Despite the recent failings of the past 10 years by DC, this is still easily the worst film they've ever made based on one of their characters. 1. The Passion of the Christ [Dir. Mel Gibson]One of the most controversial and divisive films of all time, Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ set off a wave of discourse in film and religion arguably still being felt today. Unfortunately, there's no way to address this film anymore with contextualizing it through a Post-9/11 Christian American reaction, anti-Semitism and the later actions of its director and lead actor. The Passion of the Christ is for all intents and purposes a Christian propaganda film made in the format of a plotless violent gore fest to manipulate and guilt the audience. It's usage of Anti-Semitic imagery (and rhetorical use by anti-Semites) has been discussed ad-nauseum and when your director later claims the Jews caused all the world's wars (on top of liberal use of the N-Word), it's hard to ignore. Jim Caviezel for all his efforts brings no character to Jesus, with the actor's commitments to the QAnon cult being a scary foreseen act in waiting. All the characters in this film are caricatures with no growth, as the film itself is plotless in following the trial and suffering of Jesus. What could've been the ending to a better film (like Mel Gibson's Braveheart) is instead the equivalent of a 2-hour film based on one Saw trap. The filmmaking, production values and cinematography are effective, but that's the problem. They work in emotionally manipulating the faith-based audience (most of whom were under and imagined persecution complex at the time) this was targeted towards when the film came out. All the excellent visual storytelling and gore in in service of aggressively and violently convincing you to believe in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
While I know people who haven't gotten a positive experience of this film, acknowledge its box office success to mean people wanted to see this and that Mel Gibson is a gifted filmmaker - I can't shake feeling the film is made with hate. It lacks creative nuance, positivity or any desire to talk to an audience; rather it feels like than R rated version of a biblical lecture in talking down to an audience. Considering we've had far better faith-based films and Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ remains the masterwork of Jesus' crucifixion on film...this is just...heartbreaking. |
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