Written by Tyrone BruinsmaHonorable Mentions: -Addicted [Dir. Park Young-hoon] -Auto Focus [Dir. Paul Schrader] -The Bourne Identity [Dir. Doug Liman] -Bowling for Columbine [Dir. Michael Moore] -Cabin Fever [Dir. Eli Roth] -The Cat Returns [Dir. Hiroyuki Morita] -City of God [Dir. Fernando Meirelles] -Cypher [Dir. Vincenzo Natali] -Death to Smoochy [Dir. Danny DeVito] -De-Lovely [Dir. Irwin Winkler] -Dragonfly [Dir. Tom Shadyac] -8 Mile [Dir. Curtis Hanson] -Ghost Ship [Dir. Steve Beck] -Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla [Dir. Masaaki Tezuka] -The Idol (L'Idole) [Dir. Samantha Lang] -In My Skin [Dir. Marina de Van] -Infernal Affairs [Dir. Andrew Lau and Alan Mak] -Irreversible [Dir. Gaspar Noé] -K19: The Widowmaker [Dir. Kathryn Bigelow] -Max [Dir. Menno Meyjes] -Minority Report [Dir. Steven Spielberg] -The Mothman Prophecies [Dir. Mark Pellington] -The Nest [Dir. Florent-Emilio Siri] -Napoléon [Dir. Yves Simoneau] -Narc [Dir. Joe Carnahan] -Phone [Dir. Ahn Byeong-ki] -The Pianist [Dir. Roman Polanski] -Punch Drunk Love [Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson] -Rabbit Proof Fence [Dir. Philip Noyce] -Reign of Fire [Dir. Rob Bowman] -Requiem [Dir. Hervé Renoh] -Resident Evil [Dir. Paul W.S Anderson] -Road to Perdition [Dir. Sam Mendes] -The Rosa Parks Story [Dir. Julie Dash] -Russian Ark [Dir. Alexander Sokurov] -Secretary [Dir. Steven Shainberg] -Shark Attack 3: Megalodon [Dir. David Worth] -Solaris [Dir. Steven Soderbergh] -Spy Kids: The Island of Lost Dreams [Dir. Robert Rodriguez] -They [Dir. Robert Harmon] -The Transporter [Dir. Corey Yuen and Louis Leterrier] -We Were Soldiers [Dir. Randall Wallace] 20. Treasure Planet [Dir. John Musker and Ron Clements]From the directors of The Little Mermaid and Aladdin comes a passion project over a decade in the making. Treasure Planet was one of Disney's 2000's box office bombs despite being a technological marvel and very human story. A clever adaptation of Treasure Island, visually amazing and boasting some of Disney Animation's best characters. The 2002 release and over all story actually reflects the then recent 9/11 and Invasion of Iraq where a new generation of children lost their fathers to war. It still holds up and should be recognized more by audiences and its studio. 19. Red Dragon [Dir. Brett Ratner]While I'll always prefer Michael Mann's Manhunter in terms of the better adaptation of the Red Dragon novel, there's no denying this prequel to Silence of the Lambs is an incredibly well-crafted and effective thriller. Anthony Hopkins, Edward Norton, Ralph Fiennes and the rest of the amazing cast do well with the material and it's easily Brett Ratner's best film in his terrible professional career. Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter trilogy might honestly be one of the best horror trilogies of all time and I feel no other adaptations will ever match these films. 18. Dog Soldiers [Dir. Neil Marshall]Before he made other great genre films like The Descent, Doomsday or Centurion: Neil Marshall made his directorial debut with a riff on Predator and Aliens, but with werewolves. The cast is absolutely committed to the pure fun madness and Kevin McKidd is a great lead. I feel like you'll only know Kevin McKidd depending on the kind of person you are, horror fans will know him for Dog Soldiers, tv drama fans will know him from Grey's Anatomy, historical media fans will remember him from the 2 seasons of Rome and gamers will know him as Cpt. Soap MacTavish from the original Modern Warfare 2 and 3. He's genuinely an underappreciated leading man and Dog Soldiers gives him the right ability to bounce off it. The actors do great, the effects are amazing for the low budget and it's just so much ridiculous fun. 17. Below [Dir. David Towhy]What happens when you team up the Darren Aronofsky after Requiem for a Dream and David Twohy after Pitch Black and give them a $40 Million budget for a submarine horror film? You get one of the most underappreciated horror films of the 2000s. Below starts off like a cliche World War 2 submarine film like U-571 before becoming a psychologically nuanced horror experience. The film is able to make it work so much thanks to one of the best ensemble casts of its time including: Bruce Greenwood, Matthew Davis, Olivia Williams, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Flemyng and Dexter Fletcher. Seriously, Below is one of those horror films that was largely dismissed at the time despite a really great execution, solid script and the cast selling it. If you've not seen it, I recommend it as well as another underappreciated 2002 horror film called They. 16. Spider-Man [Dir. Sam Raimi]After 10 years of directors like James Cameron, David Fincher and Chris Colombus directing a Spider-Man project, Sam Raimi took the helm and made a modern blockbuster hit. Striking in the summer after the tragic 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York City, the film became both a symbol of what it means to be a New Yorker and a reminder of the hope that can always be found. The cast remains iconic, with the entire film itself having the energy of the Spider-Man comics Raimi grew up with. The action scenes are fun, Danny Elfman's score is perfect and the whole film itself holds up as a precursor to how the genre would evolve. 15. 28 Days Later [Dir. Danny Boyle]At a point when zombies were largely out of fashion in horror, indie darling Danny Boyle and screenwriter Alex Garland revived them in style. 28 Days Later is a beautiful, harrowing, disturbing and visually exhilarating film the world hasn't really seen at that point. Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris and Brenda Gleeson lead an exceptional cast in this tragic but occasionally beautiful story. The infected monsters are terrifying, the unique cinematic look absolutely works and the music is chilling. Its sequel is often overlooked, but I'm hoping to cap this off with a final installment. 14. The Ring [Dir. Gore Verbinski]At the same time 28 Days Later was re-inventing the zombie movie, Gore Verbinski decided to make the supernatural horror film that would redefine the sub-genre for the next two decades. A remake of the 1998 Japanese film Ring/Ringu, The Ring largely follows the story of that film-but exchanges subtly for hyper visual intensity. The film remains visually impressive to this day, is a terrifying experience and one of the best horror remakes of all time. It still works after all these years. 13. Adaptation [Dir. Spike Jonze]After making Being John Malkovich and nearly losing him mind adapting "The Orchid Thief", Charlie Kaufman wrote the inciteful meta-film Adaptation. A comedic reflection on a writer's struggle to write, the film is a marvel of writing, acting and commentary on the filmmaking process. Nicolas Cage gives a stellar dual performance as Charlie Kaufman and his fictional brother Donald alongside an amazing supporting cast. Spike Jonze makes another directorial marvel and it really is the kind of film you need to see to believe. 12. Frailty [Dir. Bill Paxton]The late and iconic actor Bill Paxton gave us one of the best and most unappreciated horror films of the early 2000's with Frailty. What starts out as a religiously focused version of a serial killer story becomes a much more nuanced and surreal tale of abuse, mental stability and American cultural ideas. Bill Paxton and Metthew McConaughey give amazing performances amongst a solid cast, the writing is excellent and the final act of the film is truly chilling. 11. Gangs of New York [Dir. Martin Scorsese]Often considered Martin Scorsese's worst film...if this is his worse-it's still better than most directors' best. This big historical epic about criminal in New York admit rapidly changing times is both akin to the director's prior crime epics and its own new animal for the 21st Century. Covering religious division, racial inequality, capitalism and a myriad of other subjects: it's a violent, grand and operatic experience. The cast is impressive and while many take issue with Cameron Diaz, Daniel Day-Lewis as the villain carries the entire film. It's an amazing film with flaws a-plenty, made up for with pristine execution. 10. Blade 2 [Dir. Guillermo Del Toro]The first Blade film revitalizing the superhero genre and started Marvel off on the right path for cinematic experiences. Guillermo Del Toro takes that and cranks it to 11 with a film brimming with comic book flair, ultra gory monster effects. The plot builds on the world of the original well, Del Toro puts his passion into the violence, practical effects and action, and the cast brings their A-game. It's pretty much one of the best action/horror movies ever made for a reason. 9. One Hour Photo [Dir. Mark Romanek]One of two Robin Williams movies from 2002 where he decided to play against type with more sinister characters. One Hour Photo is a magnificently creepy and human iteration of a voyeuristic stalker story. As simple as things start, they get darker and more psychologically harrowing as things go on. Robin Williams is brilliant here, able to use his natural demeanor and audience perception to twist how we see his eventually complex character. We'll always miss this great actor and One Hour Photo stands as one of his greatest showcases. 8. Equilibrium [Dir. Kurt Wimmer]Equilibrium feels like the good version of those young adult sci-fi dystopian films we got a decade later (The Hunger Games, Divergent, Maze Runner etc). It explains its world clearly enough, explores philosophical ideas and delivers brilliant action scenes in a lean-mean runtime. This movie is just so goddamn awesome to see Christian Bale effortlessly mow down bad guys with martial arts gunplay (Gun-Kata) that feels like an evolution of The Matrix. Seriously, I don't care if you think this movie is dumb-it's so awesome. 7. Panic Room [Dir. David Fincher]When you take a classic Hitchcockian premise and have a master like David Fincher at the helm, you get an elevated thriller for the ages. A film that manages to be claustrophobic but grand, says a lot with a little and is tense without unnecessary drama. It's a great example of "everything set up has a payoff", subversions and pure acting magnetism. Panic Room really is just an amazing ride. 6. Insomnia [Dir. Christopher Nolan]Christopher Nolan's first studio film Insomnia brings the future box office titan and two of the best actors ever in Al Pacino and Robin Williams into a great neo noir remake. Set in a town where the sun never sets to explore a young girl's murder, things quickly unravel as darker and more sinister for our two main players. Nolan's use of the neo noir genre is perfect after the magic trick that was Memento, and while the ending is a little cliche-seeing Pacino and Williams bounce off each other is a thing of beauty. Check this out if you haven't. 5. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers [Dir. Peter Jackson]After making the epic and eye opening Fellowship of the Ring, how was Peter Jackson going to keep audiences happy in the middle of this trilogy. As it turns out, with improved effects, an expanded cast and one of the best action scenes ever in the Battle at Helm's Deep. Yes, all the production muscle, writing, performances and music are great-but The Battle at Helm's Deep is the best sequence the Lord of the Rings trilogy ever gave us and it is awe inspiring. I really dont' need to say more. 4. Deathwatch [Dir. M. J. Bassett]Starring Jamie Bell and Andy Serkis, Deathwatch is a psychological war horror film about British soldiers stuck in an enemy trench as things go from bad to worse. It's an emotionally horrifying experience that brings forth the horrors of war and beyond into an ear perfect execution. It's the kind of film I don't want to spoil and simply encourage you to experience for yourself. It's dark, gritty, nasty, near traumatizing and brutal in all the right ways. Also Deathwatch was written and directed by M. J. Bassett, a director who has gone on to direct films like The Wilderness, Solomon Kane, Silent Hill Revelation, Rogue and the upcoming Red Sonja remake, as well as directing episodes of tv shows like Strike Back, Ash vs Evil Dead and Iron Fist; came out as a trans woman in 2017. So, if you've enjoyed any of these works-congrats, you've enjoyed the directorial work of a trans woman whose career is not stopping. Which is in fun contrast to one of the actors in Deathwatch (Lawrence Fox) who decided to double down on being a conservative little loser and tanked his career in the process. Sometimes life is good. 3. Catch Me If You Can [Dir. Steven Spielberg]While Minority Report from Spielberg the same year was a good sci-fi yarn, Catch Me if You Can is a near masterpiece. The real story of a run-away criminal and the FBI agent trying to catch him, it's a story of a kid trying to make it in the world to bring his family back with the backdrop of history. Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg and John WIlliams work at a quartet to realize this amazing true-life story and it's executed flawlessly. It's easily one of the best works by all those involved. And, it's also the best American film of 2002. 2. Hero [Dir. Zhang Yimou]After Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon gave the world a taste of Chinese wire-fu, Hero came along to show us an even more extreme visual version my Zhang Yimou. Hero looks amazing thanks to its use of colours in costuming, production design and is bolstered by world class cinematography. The fight scenes are more than amazing, they're pure magic on scene. And luckily, they had a great Chinese cast lock down the drama of the story. Hero is a must-see film for all lovers of cinema. 1. Dark Water [Dir. Hideo Nakata]Dark Water might not be the scariest or showiest horror film-but it's the msot emotionally impactful. The story of a divorcing mother struggling to care for her daughter in a new apartment as something supernatural becomes apparent is the starting point for a tragic ghost story about parental love. While it's creepy, spooky and occasionally scary, the ultimate conclusion for the horror lives a tear in your eye more than horror on your face. Dark Water deserves to be praised more as one of the greatest horror films of all time, sadly having a terrible American remake.
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Written by Tyrone BruinsmaDishonorable Mentions: -The Adventures of Pluto Nash [Dir. Ron Underwood] -Austin Powers in Goldmember [Dir. Jay Roach] -Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever [Dir. Wych Kaosayananda] -Black Mask 2: City of Masks [Dir. Hark Tsui] -Collateral Damage [Dir. Andrew Davis] -D-Tox (Eye See You) [Dir. Jim Gillespie] -Enough [Dir. Michael Apted] -Garage Days [Dir. Alex Proyas] -Heart of America (Home Room) [Dir. Uwe Boll] -Hellraiser: Hellseeker [Dir. Rick Bota] -High Crimes [Dir. Carl Franklin] -Left Behind II: Tribulation Force [Dir. Bill Corcoran] -Megalodon [Dir. Pat Corbitt] -Men in Black 2 [Dir. Barry Sonnenfeld] -Murder by Numbers [Dir. Barbet Schroeder] -New Alcatraz [Dir. Phillip Roth] -Signs [Dir. M. Night Shyamalan] -Snow Dogs [Dir. Brian Levant] -The Sum of All Fears [Dir. Phil Alden Robinson] -Swimfan [Dir. John Polson] -Windtalkers [Dir. John Woo] -xXx [Dir. Rob Cohen] 10. Die Another Day [Dir. Lee Tamahorri]While Pierce Brosnan was a great Bond and Goldeneye remains one of the best 007 films ever made, his series only decreased in quality. Because while Die Another Day was the most successful film in the series at the box office (at the time), it was easily one of the worst (if not, the worst) in the franchise. While the film could provide the usual action thrills, they were hindered by lackluster visual effects (a holdover from Lee Tamahorri’s prior Hollywood film Along Came a Spider) and some of the worst Bond humor. The story was incredibly ridiculous (even by 007 standards), most of the performances were shoddy and it was far behind the similar action fare like Spider-Man, Minority Report or even Equilibrium. I will admit I did enjoy Halle Berry as Jinx and kind of wish we got her spin-off, and Rosamund Pike is awesome. Also, controversial opinion, Madonna’s Die Another Day song slaps and I like the credits sequence accompanying it. 9. Star Wars: Attack of the Clones [Dir. George Lucas]This remains the worst Star Wars film. While the Phantom Menace had writing and structural issues, it still managed to be somewhat engaging. However, this follow up felt far too dark and serious with a political plot that was needlessly confusing. This was the most garish use of CGI in the franchise and didn’t end up amounting to anything. The infamous “I hate sand” dialogue was a double-edged sword in being bad, but also showed the eventual signs of works like Twilight becoming popular. Yeah, it’s kind of cool seeing Boba Fett’s dad, a 3-way monster battle, the first Clone battle and Yoda fighting-but they're not in service to anything. It suffers the problem of being too serious, too silly and not accomplishing much of anything. 8. Bad Company [Dir. Joel Schumacher]The late Joel Schumacher had far too much of his career in film boiled down to his Batman films by needlessly bitter fanboys. But he did make this pretty terrible action film. It’s supposed to be an action comedy, but it's neither funny nor exciting. The plot about a secret agent’s twin brother needing to play him should be hilarious, but the film is so serious for far too much of it. It feels like those lower budget action duds that can’t afford to do much action and are shot cheaply in Budapest-but the film was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and cost about $70 Million. It’s sadly one of Schumacher’s bad films that doesn’t have much in the way of story, action, comedy, character or entertainment. 7. Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True [Dir. John Kafka]Ok, in this film’s defense: the animation isn’t too bad, the voice actors are good and the romantic story with the stepsister Anastasia is kind of cute. However, this was a cynical Disney product wherein they took the episodes from a failed tv series, shoved them into a “film” and released to audiences for consumption. And this thing sold $120 Million on home media. For context, Treasure Planet, a genuinely excellent film that bombed at the box office the same year made only $110 Million. And the film itself is just 2 cliche stories (and one pretty good one) bound by a flimsy framing device. I don’t hate the film, I hate what it represents. 6. Swept Away [Dir. Guy Ritchie]After Guy Ritchie’s success in the British action crime comedies with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch-his next move was…to remake a 1974 Italian romance/comedy drama starring his then wife Madonna. Ok. The original film’s immensely political subject matter was toned down for the remake and often reuses dialogue that doesn’t make sense in the context or characters. It’s just a super boring film that feels like something Madonna asked Ritchie to for her anxieties about her advancing age could be quelled, or maybe they wanted to get paid to have a holiday. Either way, it’s a worse version of a pre-existing story that’s not something Ritchie is suited to. It bombed at the box office despite only costing $10 Million to make and it would take quite some time for the director to regain his successful status. Regardless of your feelings towards Ritchie’s work in the blockbuster landscape, this is easily his worst film because it's the most boring. 5. The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 [Dir. Bradley Raymond] While I can give a few passes to Cinderella 2, I have less for Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. The original was an epic Disney film that tackled themes of prejudice, religion and predation. This sequel lacks the weight, scope or even tonal consistency of the original film, making it feel exactly like the cheap cash-in it is. While I do give praise to the new and returning cast including Jennifer Love Hewitt as Quasimodo’s interest, the fact Quasimodo even has a love interest is the problem. This sequel doesn't understand the original and it’s completely worthless from a creative and storytelling standpoint. Cheaply animated, narratively backward and only worthy of the title “Second worst animated film of 2002”. 4. American Psycho 2 [Dir. Morgan J. Freeman]While it would not be the first or last time a studio tied an unrelated film into the sequel to an iconic horror film, American Psycho 2 is one of the most egregious examples. The film feels like a bad attempt at emulating Scream 2 or Urban Legend from a few years prior, but from the perspective of the villain. It has all the cringeworthy late 90s/early 2000s attempts at being cool including a pop soundtrack, Whedon style dialogue and cliche twist. While she regretted the role, I actually think Mila Kunis does a decent job as the lead-it would just help if she had a better script. And on principle, I'm not a fan of studios taking a film they know will suck and pointlessly connecting it to a better film in the effort to sell more tickets-it's just lazy. 3. Eight Crazy Nights [Dir. Seth Kearsley]Let me be very clear, the animation in Eight Crazy Nights is beyond impressive. The designs, motions and details are impeccable. But they’re in service of a mean-spirited story with terrible voice acting and deer engaging in coprophilia. If you’re not over 18, don’t look that up. The point is, it’s a film where a lot of really talented animators and artists were used to bring to life one of Adam Sandler’s worst movies. The script is terrible, the story is just needlessly grim for a comedy and it’s not funny. I’m pretty sure they only made this animation so Adam Sandler’s character could have a better body than his real-life counterpart, create some gross/weird imagery easily and have one action-ish scene. It’s very similar to Pixels in the way that the craft of the film is far better than the narrative deserves. It’s easily one of Sandler’s worst films alongside Little Nicky, Jack and Jill and That’s My Boy. 2. Half Past Dead [Dir. Don Michael Paul]The last theatrical film Steven Seagal would star in until 2010’s Machete, Half Past Dead really goes out pathetically. After his last terrible film Exit Wounds, it’s amazing that he managed to star in a worse film that amounts to a garbage version of Michael Bay’s The Rock. While The Rock was a well-made, explosive, exciting and epic feeling action film: Half Past Dead is a lifeless and sloppily directed mess with a lazy script. While much of the cast is putting in some effort like Claudia Christian and even rapper Ja Rule with his stunt work, our lead is as boring as ever with no effort put into his performance. There are no memorable action scenes, the story is awash in cliches, and it lacks the ultra-violence or exploitative material to be fun. Also, who thought this needed a sequel? And does it need repeating about Steven Seagal’s garbage actions and persona including: his love for the oppressive Russian regime by Putin, his crypto currency shilling, saying that sports players protesting against racially motivated police violence shouldn’t be allowed to (while claiming to be for free speech) and his numerous sexual predation allegations. Honestly, I’m surprised his career didn’t end after Executive Decision. 1. Master of Disguise [Dir. Perry Andelin Blake]SNL alumni Dana Carvey can be funny. He was funny on SNL, the Wayne’s World movies and even does good voice work in stuff like Rick and Morty, and The Secret Life of Pets. But Master of Disguise is the worst thing he’s ever been in. The premise of an Italian family who can disguise themselves as anyone as master thieves sounds like the perfect setup for hilarious impressions and celebrity cameos. But instead, it’s a film with zero laughs, a weirdly elaborate backstory and non-stop confusion. I mean, for a film where you could have had cameos galore…all we got was Bo Derek, Jessica Simpson and Jesse Ventura. Really? And while Dana Carvey is a good impressionist, the script he co-write gives him absolutely terrible material to work with including a racist depiction of an Indian caricature. There are so many strange jokes like an Exorcist reference, an un-funny recurring fart joke, making fun of Jennifer Esposito for not having a big butt, a pointless Jaws reference that goes nowhere and the infamous Turtle Club scene. Seriously, whoever thought the Turtle Club scene was funny needs help. There’s only 2 good impressions in the film, one being a George W Bush impersonation near the end and the other being a riff on Al Pacino’s Scarface. The issue is the former is too short with no biting commentary and the latter goes on for WAY too long. In the end, this is one of the worst modern comedies ever made: “Proudly” joining the likes of Movie 43, That’s My Boy, Disaster Movie, Gigli, Town and Country, and Freddy Got Fingered. Don’t watch it ironically or for cringe value. Just watch anything else please. It’s so terrible it’s actually not funny.
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